Hurt
by Girl-of-Geekery
Summary: Gibbs gets a phone call that could change all of their lives forever. But is everything as it seems? In Gibb's POV. Family fic and Tony-Gibbs father/son. No slash. WARNINGS: Possible ooc moments.
1. News

_'Two hours late.' _I thought worriedly, glancing at my Senior Field Agent's desk again.

Tony was known for being late, but only five or ten minutes, not hours.

Shoving aside the worry for a moment I turned back to the report currently waiting to be typed out on my computer. Glaring at the machine when it refused to accept the words I was currently trying to type.

I turned the glare to the phone on my desk briefly when it rang, breaking my concentration of fighting with the stupid electronic annoyance. I was about ten seconds and one smashed keyboard away from yelling for McGee.

"Gibbs." I demanded, using one hand to hold the phone the other to slam one of my computer keys, trying to get it to work.

"Agent Gibbs, this is David Meyers, I work at the local morgue."

"One of your bodies Navy?" I asked, smashing another key.

"Uh, no. Agent Gibbs, do you know an Anthony DiNozzo?"

I froze in my actions, cold dread and fear entering me now. I knew something was off, my gut had been churning all morning. I just hoped it was some sick coincidence that he worked at the morgue. But then, I didn't believe in coincidences........

"Yes, I do." I said simply.

"I hate having to do this, but I'm sorry to tell you that he was killed yesterday evening."

Shock. Horror. Disbelief. Only a fourth of the emotions running through me.

"I think you've made a mistake." I started.

"I'm sorry but the body I have matches the DNA, blood, and description of one Anthony DiNozzo."

_No. No, no. This wasn't happening. Not now. Not ever. Tony wasn't dead. He couldn't be._

"Look I don't know who you think----!" I started to yell, only to be cut off which only served to fuel my anger.

I saw McGee's fingers freeze over his keyboard, mid-type and Ziva stopped mid-motion as she was putting some files away in the cabinet as they heard my yell.

"Agent Gibbs! I'm sorry, but this is your guy." he stated bluntly.

I felt everything crumble. Tony was gone.

"How?" I asked simply, fearing if I spoke more the emotion in my voice would be noticeable.

"In a fire at the coin laundry last night. There was some sort of electrical fire. Place was engulfed in flames in a matter of seconds, no one had a chance to make it out."

My mind flashed back to the report I had seen playing on the TV screen at the local coffee shop this morning. They had reported a fire involving two deaths. And then I knew. The man was right, this wasn't a trick. There was an actual fire, where actual people were killed. One of those people being Tony.

I took a deep breath through my nose and closed my eyes to steady my shaking nerves.

"I want our ME to do the autopsy." I stated firmly, my voice only slightly shaky.

"Look Agent Gibbs, I know it's hard to lose people you care about but I can assure you, your ME won't turn up anything more than I did. There's no case here, it's just as simple as wrong place, wrong time."

I didn't reply. I knew he was right. There was nothing to be done. It was over. Tony's life was over. He was gone and there was nothing I could do. Yet I felt there was something I should do. There had to be something, anything I could do to make this right. Anything to prove that Tony was still with the living. So why did it feel so final?

"I truly am sorry, Agent Gibbs." Meyers said quietly, truthfully, to me, "Very sorry." he added, before hanging up the phone.

Now all I heard was the dial done, I did nothing, I just held the phone in place though there was no reason to, I just couldn't seem to move.

"Gibbs?" Ziva said quietly after a moment.

I blinked once, coming back to reality, which really wasn't any place I wanted to be at the moment. I finally put the phone down, dropping my hand back to the table, but other than that I showed no other signs of having heard her.

"Gibbs?" she asked again. My eyes drifted to her. She was still frozen over the cabinet as were McGee's fingers over the keyboard. Both staring at me.

"Boss?" McGee asked, finally plucking up the courage, "What happened?"

A few more seconds and I cleared my throat, trying to shove back the emotion that was sure to color my tone if I spoke now.

"That was the local ME.----" I stopped. I didn't want to say it, to say it made it final and I didn't want it to be final. I wanted there to be options that said there was a possibility that Tony was still alive.

Realizing that McGee and Ziva were still waiting on tenterhooks after a long moment, I knew I should answer.

Then I realized what exactly I was having to tell was I supposed to tell them their partner.....their friend.......was now gone?

I swallowed hard, "DiNozzo was involved in a fire at the coin laundry. Apparently there was some electrical fire.........he didn't make it." I all but whispered.

There. I said it......Sort of. He really was gone.

I saw McGee's mouth drop open, then close, then open again. Ziva just stared at me as if she was wondering if she had me correctly.

"Boss....." McGee said, his voice slightly rougher, "I---he-----you've got to be kidding, right?" he said in a disbelieving tone.

"Yeah, McGee. This is all just one big joke." I snapped gruffly.

I knew he hadn't meant it that way, he was just, like I had been, looking for a way for it not to be Tony. He didn't want to believe it either. I also knew he didn't deserve to be snapped at like that.

But the previous despair I had felt was rapidly turning into anger and I felt the need to relieve some of it. That was how I usually dealt. Some people handle their grief by crying, others silence until they were off by themselves, some impatience. I dealt by using anger. I needed to leave now before I took it out on Ziva and McGee or anyone else for that matter.

"I'm going for coffee." I said hurriedly, ignoring the full cup of coffee on my desk and all but running from the room. I saw Ziva and McGee look at each other. Their faces a mixture of confusion, shock and disbelief. The news hadn't sunk in enough for them yet. I wish it hadn't sunk in for me either.

As the elevator doors closed, I let my mask dissipate completely.

Why Tony? Why did it have to be him? Hadn't I lost enough?

I knew I was being selfish, I certainly wouldn't be the only one to miss him. And I was here wishing that it had been someone else. Someone else's son, brother, friend. Not ours. Very selfish, yet it was how I felt. Why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be there when the fire broke out? And why did it have to be his luck that ran out? Couldn't it have been mine? Couldn't it have been my time that had finally come short? Couldn't it have been the one time I didn't escape death by mere chance? Why did it have to be Tony's turn?

I heard the ding of the elevator and I froze, putting the mask firmly back in place. Showing no emotion.

"Gibbs." Agent Dorsey greeted me.

I gave a curt nod to him as he boarded and we rode the lift together to the garage. I wanted nothing more to be alone as it was getting harder and harder to hold onto my mask.

I was grateful when the doors dinged a second time and we both were able to exit the elevator. I saw Mike look at me curiously as I tore past him to my car, but he simply shrugged, pushing it off to a case or coffee run and headed to him own vehicle.

I'm not sure how long I just sat in my car, hands on the wheels, unmoving.I was never more glad this thing had tinted windows. Finally turning the key in the ignition, I backed the car up and headed to my destination. Only one problem. Where was my destination? I had no idea. I couldn't think straight and nothing made sense to me right now so I just drove and drove.

I finally ended up at the last place I wanted to be without even realizing how I had gotten there. Tony's apartment building. I had been here a few times before. To check up on him, grab a bag of clothes for him when he was staying at my place after being injured. Once I had even stopped by on a Sunday help him set up his new flat screen TV.

Not that I knew anything about any of that technical bull-crap. I basically did what Tony instructed and helped him to mount it to the wall. I had nearly been half tempted to watch a movie on it like Tony had offered, but before I could even agree or disagree dispatch called an emergency case that no one else had the clearance to handle and we headed out to a crime scene instead.

I stared at the building for a moment, angry when a few moments later I had to wipe at my eyes to clear my slightly blurred vision.

I wondered briefly if McGee and Ziva had snapped from their shock and if Ducky, Abby, and Palmer had been informed yet. I knew I should go back and check on them but I couldn't. I knew if I did or if I had to be the one to inform them I would lose my composer completely. And as a Marine that was simply unacceptable.

So instead I drove back to my own house. Why I don't know. This place was filled with even more memories. Tony had spent a decent amount of time here, recovering usually, both physically and emotionally. I never minded. Despite popular belief I enjoyed the company and never minded for a single moment when Tony came to only regret was that he was usually injured in some way when he did so.

I moved almost ghost like from the front door and headed for the basement. Again the worst place. Tony had helped me on my boat more than once and we had a few talks while doing so.

Out of character for both of I suppose, but the combination of the bourbon and the relaxing sounds of the sandpaper against the wood we let down our guards. Barely. But enough to talk to each other.

They weren't those cliche heartfelt, soul moving speeches, but more like a few words, the meanings still slightly hidden, were said. If anyone else had been present they would have assumed we were having a normal conversation and probably not understood what we were really saying.

But then it went to show that we knew each other pretty well despite neither of us talking too

much about our personal lives that we understood the hidden meanings behind those words.

Carefully heading down the stairs I was surprised at myself at the amount of emotion I was feeling and at how horrible I really felt. I thought I would never feel as bad as I had when I lost Shannon and Kelly. Yet.....this came close. Too close.

But then Tony was family, my team was family, all of them. Dangerous in our line of work, but unpreventable. How and when we became so close I don't know. But we did. Abby would say fate maybe and I was inclined to believe it. How else could seven people who have nothing in common all come together and become as close as we had?

Out of my family, Tony was definitely my son, no doubts there. There had been something about the kid when I first met him on the case in Baltimore. He was cocky and annoying. But there was something else there that I was soon to realize most people didn't see. There was more there than a cocky young phys ed major, there was a smart, promising man with the potential to become something great. There was also, hidden even deeper than his smarts and promise another side. A lost little kid looking for someone to look up too. For some reason he took it upon himself to see me as that person.

And for some reason, that I was never quite sure of, I felt the overwhelming need to protect, shelter, and, for lack of a better word, raise the kid myself.

The first time I had realized that I looked at him more like a son than a co-worker was also the first he had been shot while on my team. I hadn't been that......scared in a long time. Nor as

worried. I about lost it when the doctor wouldn't let me in to check on him.

If I hadn't thought I would get arrested for doing so I would have demoted him from doctor to patient very quickly. Only after I had intimidated my way in and was able to see for myself that he was infact alive and breathing did I calm down. I had been surprised when I sat in the chair beside his bed later that evening and realised how terrified I had been that he had been seriously injured by the shot to his chest or how I might have lost him for good. I also realised how angry I was with myself for not protectin him like I should have. Come to think of it, it was the same anger I was feeling now. Except this time it cost so much more than a week in the hospital and some time in rehab. This time it cost everything.

I eased myself down into the wooden kitchen chair that was setting next the small TV and I felt tired and sore even though I had done nothing strenuous today. I sat in silence for a moment before the ringing of my cell phone penetrated the air.

Pulling said object from my pocket I looked at the caller ID. Ducky. He had no doubt heard by now.

Sighing, I flipped it open.  
"Yeah?" I asked simply and even I noticed the tired tone my voice carried.

"Jethro? Where are you?" Ducky's worried voice asked. I could already tell that he knew by the tone in his voice.

I sighed again, "What'd ya' need, Duck?" I asked.

"I heard.....about Anthony...." he paused, he sounded almost scared of what he was saying, "Is it actually true, Gibbs?" he asked, warily.

I wanted nothing more than to tell him that it wasn' it was some vicious lie someone had spread.

I closed my eyes for a moment, "Yeah......Yeah, Ducky. It is." _I wish that it wasn't._

I heard a deep, heavy, and tired sigh. But no gasp of shock or exclamation of surprise. He had known, he didn't want to believe it, but he had known.

"Jethro....Jethro, I am sorry." he said quietly, his own voice thick with of it sounding like raw hurt.

"Yeah, thanks, Duck. I am too." I replied, snapping the phone shut.

I didn't want to speak to anyone right now. I'd just end up yelling at them, which none of them deserved. Or, like Ducky had started to do, they would show me pity which was the last thing I needed or wanted.

What I wanted was impossible to retrieve. What I wanted was Tony back.


	2. Funeral

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**WARNING: Possible OOC moments in this chapter. I tried staying in character and I hope I succeeded, but just a warning to be safe.**

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It was a week later now and instead of getting easier the hurt had only gotten worse. As I had known would.

Vance had given everyone a week of compassionate leave. And for the first evening after the incident the team stayed together. Or what was left of us.

We had traveled to the local bar and threw back a few too many shots of whatever was available. We didn't talk, we didn't cry. We just stayed silent, trying to see if the drink would suffice enough to bury even a little of the pain. It didn't.

The rest of the time we spent by ourselves. At least I did, I assume the others did too. Except maybe Abby and McGee, they would be supporting each other. Which was fine, that's how they handled it. I handled it by practically barricading myself in the basement with a half dozen bottles of bourbon and my boat which had now been practically sanded away to dust.

The only time I dragged myself away from the basement was to plan Tony's upcoming funeral. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. When I had entered the Marines, it was customary that anyone in the Service and their spouse fill out a will and be prepared so Shannon's funeral was already planned. And a Marine buddy of mine did a great deal of the planning for Kelly's funeral seeing as I was in no shape to do so.

At first I was slightly surprised that Tony left all of his important papers and will to me. But then I had to wonder why I was ever surprised, his family certainly didn't give a crap about what happened to him. Well, his blood family at least.

The will wasn't going to be reviewed until a week after the funeral so I was able to put that off. And his funeral was no great deal of work for the most part. He wanted things simple. No wake, no viewing, just a simple casket and to be put in the ground in the local cemetery.

And yet, simple as he made it, it was still hard to handle.

I made sure that things turned out just as he wanted them: Simple. Plain. The only thing that wasn't simple was the turnout of people. But again I wasn't surprised. Tony could have been annoying at time, but despite that, he was well liked. Over half of the population of the Navy Yard attended, old college and school buddies, ex girlfriends, people whom he'd worked with when he was a cop, even a few family members. Mainly one of his aunts and a couple of his cousins, who actually looked somewhat mournful were there. His father had been notified but it was unsurprising he didn't show. He didn't care about what happened to his son when he left him in the hotel in Maui when he was just a child and he didn't care now.

_'Maybe it's a good thing he didn't show,' _I mused to myself as I watched the various people, some I knew, some I didn't, wander around aimlessly _'If he had shown his face, I probably would have punched it.'_

Vance made a pitiful speech about Tony being a good Agent and how the agency had lost a great asset. Which was true in every sense, but it was obvious Vance really didn't care and he was only doing this for appearances.

I glanced down at the paper I held in my hands. My speech for Tony. The one Vance had typed up previously and informed me that I should give. I had glared but said nothing, only agreeing because this was Tony. And Tony would have liked for me to have said a speech at his funeral and he deserved it. If it had only been for Vance.....I would have told him to shove the paper where the sun didn't shine. And that was the polite, PG-rated version of what I would have said to him.

I studied a few of the words and glared. It was basically Vance's speech all over again only coming from a different mouth and in different wording. To put it in a nutshell: It was a load of bull.

After Vance had finished his so called 'speech', he gave me a look and stepped down.

Sending him my best 'if looks could kill' stare, I took his previous spot.

Sighing once and clearing my throat, making sure my voice would be devoid of any emotion I made an attempt the words Vance called a speech.

"Anthony DiNozzo was a hard working......" I paused and Vance gave me a look to indicate I needed to continue. Scowling I tried the words again. "Anthony DiNozzo was a---" I stopped, sighing once again, this wasn't right. I shouldn't even be up here giving this speech. I'm not saying Tony didn't deserve it, but he shouldn't need it in the first place. He should still be alive, not laying in the casket in front of me.

Glancing down at the papers I re-read a few lines of the speech and glared at the words. They were to impersonal, uncaring. Tony deserved more than that.

"_Tony_ was an annoying, irritating, sometimes womanizing, eternal frat boy." I paused for a moment, looking at the shocked faces of Tony's friends and few family members. The team especially was giving me odd looks.

"He was also one of my best friends. He was smart, loyal and I can't think of anyone else I would have rather had watching my six for the past eight years. And I can say this with out a single doubt, he will be missed." I added, getting straight to the point and being as direct as possible.

I stepped down, ignoring Vance's outraged glare, and retook my seat with the rest of the team. Abby reached over, hugging me again, and I just wrapped my arms around her silently, holding her close.

I could tell that some people were still a little surprised by what I had said. Those who didn't know me were surprised at how direct and short I had been and those who did know me were surprised that I had admitted something about my feelings, no matter how little I had said.

Can't say I blamed them, I usually was never one to express feelings of any sort, but Tony deserved that at the least for everything he had done and been. Heck, he deserved more. A whole lot more. And right now I regretted that I hadn't done more for him.

The pastor stood, taking my previous spot behind the casket.

Bowing his head and closing his eyes he started prayer.

"Dear Lord, we ask you to lift his soul and that he will meet you in your heavenly home. That you will heal the hurt of his loved ones still left here on earth and that they will find solace in you. Amen."

I lifted my head and reopened my eyes with the others as the prayer finished and he started to call the pallbearers.

"Tim McGee, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Jim Palmer, Mark Cather."

McGee, Palmer and I each went to stand at a corner of the casket, joined by Tony's old Peoria partner, Mark.

My feelings, emotions, and mind were all numb as we carried the casket and it was layed into the grave site. I didn't feel anymore. It didn't matter, I didn't want to feel anymore. If I did I knew it would just be the same unbearable hurt I had felt before and I had no desire to revisit that feeling.

I stared at nothing in particular, holding onto a sobbing and completely heartbroken Abby as they buried him. McGee was silent, keeping a hand on Abby's arm providing comfort, silent tears running down his face and it was a credit that he let loose in front of us how much he actually did care about Tony. Ziva was just still, not moving, no expressions or sounds of any kind coming from her, one might think she was a statue. Ducky had his eyes closed as if he was trying to block it out, pain and all, tears running down his face. And Palmer just stared at the grave his friend was currently being buried in with a devastated expression, unmoving.

As for how I must have looked to everyone, I didn't know. Nor did I really care. Any other time I would have worked hard to keep an expressionless mask in place, but I could care less at this point. I didn't care about much of anything right now.

As the last of the dirt was thrown in place a squad of agents and officers from various agencies fired of the traditional twenty-one salute for men and women who had been in the military or who had been officers.

After they had fired the last shot and one last prayer was said, everyone started to disperse.

I literally guided Abby and lead the others on auto-pilot, not really sensing where I was going or what I was doing. I drove them all home the same way, leaving Abby with McGee. She had stopped crying now, simply because she had no tears left anymore, but she was really no better.

I drove myself home, still not really sensing anything. Throwing my keys on the counter I headed down to my basement and my unfinished boat.

I went to the work bench where my sander still lay, but didn't bother picking it up. I just stood there, gripping the edges of the counter until my knuckles were white, staring at nothing. Not even really seeing the counter top in front of me. Maybe if I just ignored everything around me and blocked it all out I could avoid the oncoming pain. Yet, I knew that was impossible.

Finally snatching up the sander and walking over to my boat, I started sanding the planks of the wood again, letting the sounds and movements sooth me a little.

After a moment of that though, I just let my hands drop, closing my eyes as the pain that had been absent before started to hit.

I could see him, hear him, I saw memories, and heard past conversations. Saw his smile, heard the tone of voice he used when he was teasing Ziva and McGee, saw the look he would get when he had cracked a case, heard his laugh. Now I'd never see or hear any of it again.

I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter and slammed my hand into my boat angrily. Turning around, I leaned against my unfinished project and slid down to the floor. Putting my head in my hands I started crying. I hadn't cried in years, but I couldn't stop. My breath hitched and it became harder to breath as the sobs tore through my chest and the tears poured off of my face.

I hadn't _really_ cried since Shannon and Kelly, but I guess it fit. Tony was like a son to me, so it was no surprise that it hurt so much.

I had cried when Kate and Jenny had died of course, but not like this. I had shed a few tears, but this was different. I was crying to the point that it hurt. Not that I needed anymore hurt on top of what I was already feeling, but I just couldn't stop.

After what felt like days, but what was probably only hours I finally was able to stop. I used my hand to angrily wipe away the reaming tears on my face. I should get up I knew, but I didn't move. I stayed sitting there on the floor, head resting against my hand, my elbow leaning on my knee.

I stared at nothing in particular as I was again assaulted by the painful memories of the younger agent. Some happy, some not.

A shadow of a smile flitted across my face at some of the happier moments.

The times Tony had helped me with my boat, the various Christmas Eve's and Thanksgiving's the team had spent together, and just some of the more lighthearted moments between the team. I prayed so hard that we could just have a few more moments like that.

We took those moments for granted, always did, until someone wasn't around to share them anymore.

Running the back of my hand across my eyes in an attempt to clear my vision, I took a shuddering breath to calm my nerves.

I briefly wonder what it's going to be like six months from now. A year? Ten?  
Everyone says that time heals all wounds. That's a lie. It may ease the pain, but it never completely heals. I know that it will get easier with time, it always does. But it seems so far away and I have to wonder how I ever managed it before. How I had made it this far, I don't know.

I'd lost three of the people I cared most about. My wife and two of my children. Shannon, Kelly, Tony, all gone.

Fear enters me again as I realize again how easily I could lose another. McGee and Ziva put their life on the line every time they step off the Navy Yard. And Abby, while holding a safer position, still doesn't manage to dodge all the dangers of working for a federal agency.

I don't think I could handle this again. I know I couldn't. I'm not sure I can handle it this time.

I thought about just quitting but that wouldn't be good for the team and I just wasn't sure how they would handle it. Especially right now, just after losing Tony.

So I'll stay I decided, at least for now. Maybe after a while I'll retire, for real this time, and escape the daily nightmares of watching my team, my family get injured on the job. Of worrying about the loss of one of them. Of seeing Tony's desk empty, or worse, being occupied by someone else.

I closed my eyes again, trying the block the image of Tony's desk being used by someone else. Someone trying to replace him. Though in my eyes, they never would. They would never even come close. He was undoubtedly, as I said before, irreplaceable.

Another tear slipped past as I thought again of the people I had lost.

My mother, buddies in combat, Pacci, Kate, Langer, Shannon, Kelly, Tony. All of them, irrevocably and permanently _gone_.

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**Btw, the bit about it being customary for Shannon's funeral to already be prepared is true. I'm not positive it's the same for the Marines but my brother-in-law is in the Army and he and my sister had to fill out wills and etc.**

**Also for those curious the bit about Tony's father forgetting him in a hotel in Maui is from the episode Honor Code.**


	3. Photos

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**Again warning for possible ooc momets.**

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.**

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------Ducky and Gibbs-------

It was early morning when I pulled into the parking lot, earlier than any of us were expected to be in at least, but I had work to do that I wanted to get done before the rest of the team got in. I had to go through Tony's desk. I had put it off for as long as I could now and I had to get it done. I dreaded it, it was going to drag up enough memories just going in and seeing that empty desk that was usually occupied by my larger than life senior field agent. My son.

I sighed heavily as I hit the elevator button to go to the bull-pen. It was going to be hard, trying to hold it together today. I had used the week of leave to grieve and let out my emotions before I came in today. I didn't want everyone else to see me like that, I would be weak and the rest of the team, rest of my family, didn't need to see me like that right now. They were going to be in a bad enough emotional state as it was, they didn't need me to be in a state of disarray right now too. But it was going to be hard to walk in and see the empty desk, to not hear the jokes and his ideas thrown in on the case, to give him the occasional slap on the head. To not hear an "On your six, boss!" or a "Gotcha, boss!"

I could understand how hard it would be for McGee to never hear a "Probie!" or for Ziva to hear her name drawn out in the way that only Tony did.

The elevator dinged, signaling the opening of the doors, breaking me from my thoughts.

I walked into the cluster of desk that hadn't been used in the past week, pausing in front of the permanently empty desk. I pictured him sitting there playing one of his games, looking up to give a "Good morning, boss." while trying to secretly switch the screen to something work related. I gave a small smile at that before it turned to a frown when I realized I wouldn't see that again. Ever.

I tore myself away from the spot and walked to my own desk. Setting my backpack down on the floor, before I started meticulously straightening the already neat desk, stalling the unwanted task. Although I had already accepted the fact that Tony was gone, sorting through his desk and removing all of his personal items just seemed to make it even more final.

When I had done all I could think of to stall for time, I headed to Tony's desk with another sigh.

I sat down in the chair behind his desk, just taking a few minuets to soak in the feeling, to imagine him sitting here instead, grinning and cracking jokes.

_"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" "If the Probie's been probing I demand details!" "Very special agent Anthony DiNozzo, boy who cried wolf and who must now suffer periodontal disease for it, how may I help you?" "James Bond, very James Bond." _

I smiled as some of the numerous jokes ran through my mind. Most people thought I didn't even have a sense of humor, truth was I loved a lot of Tony's jokes. Not that I had ever told him that. Not that I could now. My frown deepened as I looked at the five drawers I still had to open and sort through.

I had done the same with other desks of deceased agents, including Chris Pacci's. This was different though, I had been closer to Tony than the others. He was my family, he was my son, and this was different. Harder. There were so many memories and each one hurt worse than the last.

I started on the bottom right drawer, all that it contained was an extra set of clothes, a few magazines and a movie. I smiled pulling the disk out, looking at the title. _National Treasure. _Tony and his movies, he had probably seen every movie ever produced. Not only that but he could tell you who directed, wrote, produced, and acted in every single one. It was then I realized I had never watched a single movie with him. Another thing I should have done, but never had and now never could.

I shook my head placing all the items in the box and shutting the drawer. Opening the next one, I blanched when I saw it was full of medals. Pulling one of the numerous boxes out I opened one, reading the name: Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I can't believe he actually kept them all, all those medals I had told him to just trash he had saved in the drawer. I couldn't understand it. Why would he save these? But then there were allot of things I didn't understand about Tony DiNozzo, (not that I would get the chance to understand now). I understood him best out of most people, even his own father, but some things still stumped me.

I snapped the case shut, tossing it in the box before pulling the rest of them out and doing the same and then re-closing the drawer.

I started on the other side, pulling open the top drawer; it was a stack of papers. I pulled them all out, piling them on the desk in front of me. They were mostly case files, reports that would now never be finished, and even a few paper clippings of old cases. All of them were cases we had solved, not that any of them held any mention of NCIS. I smiled a little as I remembered how that used to irritate Tony and how he'd complain that we'd 'never make the eleven o'clock news'. Finally reaching the bottom of the pile I found a manila envelope. Frowning in curiosity, I opened the flap and reached in to pull out a stack of photos.

There were some of the all of the team: Abby, McGee, Ziva, Palmer, Ducky, and to my surprise, myself. I didn't even remember these being taken. He even had some of Kate, Jenny, and his old girlfriend Jeanne.

Then near the end of the stack of photos I found six photos held together with a paperclip. I slid it off, curious. I couldn't understand why Tony would have these separated from the rest.

Quickly sifting trough them I realized they were all ones of Tony with another member of the team.

The first one was of Abby and Tony in the bull-pen, Abby had her arms wrapped around his neck and Tony was smiling at the warm welcome. I remember Ducky taking that photo shortly after we had gotten Tony back after he had disappeared during one of our cases. The man whom Tony had been working undercover to catch had figured out his cover and Tony had been taken. It took us a few hours but we managed to find him before anything too serious had happened.

Abby had come rushing into the squad-room and wouldn't let Tony out of her sight for the next four hours until she was forced to get back to work.

Next Tony had a picture of himself and McGee. They were at a crime scene, Tony with a camera in hand and McGee with a pad and pencil to sketch the scene. They were both laughing at something one of them had said, Tony's arm around McGee shoulders. I smiled as I remembered Kate saying they reminded her of her two brothers. I believed it. They were like brothers, the older loved to tease and play pranks on the younger, and the younger would finally get fed up and snap back at him. But if anyone else dared to tease them, the other was right there defending him.

I flipped to next one, Tony was sitting on the edge of Ziva's desk, leaning towards her, telling her something with that big, trademark grin of his on his face. She was laughing at whatever it was, her hand on his arm.

The next was taken in the autopsy lab. Tony was sitting on a chair while Ducky sat on the edge of one of the tables. He seemed to be telling Tony one of his stories while Tony listened with rapt attention, smiling.

The next one was of Palmer. They were in Abby's lab, Palmer still in scrubs. Tony had his arm around his shoulder and was explaining something to Palmer in great detail it appeared. Palmer listened, his eyebrows raised and his eyes slightly wide. Tony, however was grinning at the younger man's reaction.

When I reached the last one I just stared. I remembered that one too, but I hadn't noticed anyone with a camera near by. It was during one of our cases, Tony had done an excellent job of finding evidence. I had asked if he was looking for an 'atta boy' to which he replied it would be nice. So as I walked by him I stroked the back of his head where I usually smacked him, telling him "atta boy". I smiled as I saw the look of surprise on Tony's face.

As I looked at the photo it hit me harder than it had before as I realized this was one of the few times I had given in just a little. I flashed back to the few times I _really _let him know I cared. When I had told him he was irreplaceable, when I told him I was proud of him, those few rare moments I had really let him know.

I should have let him know more often. I wasn't proud of him just the one time. I should have told I cared more often, should have told him he was like the son I never had, told him just exactly how irreplaceable he was. I would never find another son like Tony, no one would ever be able to replace him. And I had always been proud of him, proud of how well he had done his job, of the man he had become despite his so called father's efforts to raise Tony like himself.

I angrily wiped away the few tears that had managed to slip. I missed him and it hurt to know that I missed all those chances to let Tony know how much he meant to me and to everyone.

I just sat staring at the photo for a while, lost in my thoughts.

"Jethro?"

I looked up to see Ducky standing in front of the desk, watching me carefully. He looked older, more worn, and his eyes were duller.

"Hey Duck." I said, quietly. "What're you doin' in so early?"

"Couldn't sleep." he said, "It was either sit here or at home." he answered. I nodded in response. I could understand that. It was either being here at work or at home in the basement with my boat.

"Sorting out Anthony's things?" Ducky asked me sympathetically.

I nodded again, "Yup." I glanced down at the photo of Tony and myself that I still had clutched in my hand. I had already planned on keeping it, giving me a memento to hold onto and keep. The more I thought about it, the more I realized the others would want similar mementos of him as well.

I watched Ducky as he ran his hand over Tony's desk, absentmindedly, probably thinking back to when Tony was the one sitting here, probably telling Ducky some autopsy joke or Ducky would be getting on to Tony about his dieting habits.

"Duck." I said, breaking trough his thoughts, "Here," I said, handing him the picture of himself and Tony, "Somethin' tells me Tony would have wanted you to have this."

He took it curiously, but when he saw the image I saw a small, soft smile appear on his face, yet at the same time he looked slightly sad.

"Ah, yes, I remember this." he said, his voice slightly thick as he nodded his head, "I was telling him of my adventures while in Peru." he explained, smiling. "You know, besides you and Mr. Palmer, Anthony was the only one who really enjoyed listening to my stories." he added, quietly.

I smiled with him. Most thought Ducky's stories annoyed me, but the truth was I enjoyed them, just not while working a case. But after the cases were over we'd usually grab a drink and I would gladly listen to the stories he had to share, they were interesting to say the least. Ziva, McGee and Abby listened to Ducky's stories with interest, but I had noticed when Tony listened he was enjoying himself. I had even heard him a few times over drinks ask for or request a certain story from Ducky.

"I didn't even notice someone taking a photo of this," Ducky said after a moment.

"There's a ton of photos here that I don't think anyone realized they were being taken," I said gesturing to the stack. "Some of everyone."

Ducky shook his head, with a small smile. "Maybe he intended on making a family album." he suggested.

"Mmm," I agreed. He was right, Tony saw the team as his family. Heck, I saw the team as my family too. And from the little snippets he let slip about his past and childhood he didn't exactly have a real family. He had parents, aunts and uncle, cousins, but that was just it, they had the titles of family, but never really acted like a loving, caring family like it should be.

I looked back at the photo in hand, wondering if Tony had looked at me as family, maybe even as his father.

"Is that photo of you and Anthony?" Ducky's voice asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I nodded, handing him the picture. He smiled widely at it, slightly amused, before handing it back to me.

"He had pictures of everybody else too." I added, digging through the stack and, finally finding the ones I wanted, spread them out in front of me on the desk for Ducky to see.

He stared at them, a smile tugging at his lips again.

"Oh, and Duck?" I said after a stretch of several seconds, as a thought struck me.

"Mmm?" he said, looking up from the array of pictures.

"Take this to Palmer." I said, picking up the photo of the two younger men and handing it to him.

Ducky gave me a smile, as he accepted the photo.

"Certainly, Jethro." he agreed.

His eyes scanned the desk full of photos again, a fond smile forming on his lips. "He certainly had a way of worming himself into everyone's heart." he said quietly.

I smiled at that, it was defiantly true. When I first met him in Baltimore I couldn't wait to be rid of him, he was obnoxious, a goof-off, and a smart-mouth. But a short time into the case I started to warm up too him. He may have been a smart-mouth but he was also brave enough to stand up to his superiors. His chief wouldn't listen to any of Tony's ideas no matter how plausible or probable they were. But that never stopped him, he'd just keep at it. And he was usually right. The jokes and wise cracks took longer to get used to, but it wasn't too long and I found myself appreciating the remarks that seemed to help break the tension during the case, even finding myself laughing silently at them. By the end of the case I even found myself defending Tony to his chief. Tony was a smart kid, had good instincts, brave, and could stand up for himself. That's when I offered Tony a spot on the team, he was a great kid and he certainly wasn't appreciated where he was at.

Now I wish I hadn't. As glad as I was to have had Tony on my team all this time, get to know him as a friend and even become as close as we had, but I should have left him in Baltimore. Maybe if I had he'd be on some other team, still working cases. Still alive. Not laying six feet under.

"That he did, Duck." I said quietly, agreeing with his previous statement.

**------McGee------ **

A few hours later I sat at my desk, having finally finished going through Tony's things. There wasn't much left, some office supplies and other odds and ends. It was all in a box, now sitting next to my desk. I was unsure what to do with it just yet.

I had taken the photo of Tony and set it next to my computer screen, the others setting on my desk, ready to be handed out to their owners.

I had started working on the report left over from last week that I still hadn't finished. The one I would have finished if I hadn't been interrupted by that dreadful phone call. The one that had tore up my world.

I had thought all possibilities of happiness had died with Shannon and Kelly. I would regain an amount of happiness when I remarried, but that happiness would disappear too. I had thought all chances of love or family were just completely lost. Then I had met Tony in Baltimore and I gained back family, I gained a child. And now, like Kelly, he was gone. I still had family, I still had the rest of my team, but it just wasn't the same. And it never would be.

I shook myself realizing that, not for the first time, I had stopped working and was lost in my thoughts and staring at the photo on my desk of myself and Tony. I smiled at the pure innocence of the times in the photo. Things had been rather light hearted at the moment despite the case. A ding interrupted me from getting lost in my thoughts and memories again.

I looked up to see a disheveled McGee enter the bull-pen. He eyes were slightly red and there were dark circles underneath, he didn't have the small smile he usually wore when coming into work, and he looked just plain lost.

He looked like he had just lost his best friend as the saying goes. Which he had, or in his case, his brother.

"Morning, boss." he said in greeting as he walked past me to his own desk.

"McGee." I replied.

He took a seat at his desk, turning his computer on and soon started to work. I watched him for a little while, he looked downright miserable. There was no Tony to walk in with a "Good morning, Probie!". No Tony to tease and joke with and take the dullness out of the day and it looked like it was hitting him hard. Which I'm sure it is.

As I watched I saw him look over to Tony's desk before quickly looking away, closing his eyes a moment and sighing quietly. I immediately felt a pang of sympathy for McGee. I had done the same thing more than once. Look over to the desk usually occupied by the quirky agent, hoping that maybe it was all a bad dream or something my imagination worked up only to have my hopes dashed as I again realized he wasn't there and wasn't going to be.

The elevator dinged again and McGee's head snapped up. But it was only the mail carrier.

I watched as McGee dropped his head back down and rubbed his face with one hand; leaving his head to rest in his hand for a minute before going back to work.

Again I felt an awful pang for the kid, he was having a hard time grasping the fact that Tony was gone. I glanced at the photo laying on my desk of the two of them, joking and laughing. Sparing another glance at McGee who was now trying his hardest to not look any where but his computer screen, I stood up, taking the photo with me. I stopped in front of his desk, not saying anything. He looked up at me, curiously. Now that I was closer the redness and the deep circles were even more prominent.

"Boss?" he asked.

Instead of answering I just silently handed him the picture. Giving me a curious glance, he took it. He smiled a little when he saw it, choking out a sob and laugh. The corner of my mouth lifted in a small, sad, smile.

"He was giving me dating advice, if that's what you could call it," he laughed slightly, "Pretty soon, we were just goofing off and making stupid jokes." he told me, smiling.

"Ah, man." He groaned, rubbing his eyes, "I miss him." he added quietly.

I took a seat on the edge of the desk, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I know, Tim, I know." I told him.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" he asked, his face now hid in one of his hands.

I wished I could tell him that yes, it would eventually stop hurting, but it wouldn't. I knew that better than most people. Even all these years later, it was a little easier than it had been the first couple of years though it did still hurt immensely. I think the main reason my pain had eased as much as it had was because I had found friends and family again. Not that anyone would ever be able to take Shannon and Kelly, and now Tony's, place, I had found family again.

Not wanting to lie to him or try to sugar coat it, I told him, "It gets easier. I don't think it ever really stops, McGee, but it will get easier."

He nodded, still keeping his face hidden. I stayed sitting with him, my hand still on his shoulder, for a few more minutes. Again I wished there was something I could say to make it better, to make the hurt go away. But the only thing that could make the pain go away was to have Tony back here with us, and that was one thing I defiantly couldn't do.

"Thanks, Boss." He said, finally taking his hand away from his face and trying to discreetly rub away a few tears from his face.

"You're welcome, Tim." I replied quietly, patting him on the back. Standing up and glancing at my watch I realized Abby would be in now. And right now she would defiantly need some comfort, Tony was to her, like to McGee, a big brother.

They're relationship had started out rocky when he first started working here. Abby missed Stan and saw it as though Tony was taking his place and she resented him a little for it. On Tony's part he really didn't know what to make of her, she was different and in Tony's eyes at the time, very strange. But in a short time they had bonded and become like siblings.

I stopped to grab the last two pictures from my desk and headed towards the elevator.

"Be right back, McGee. I'm going to check on Abby." I told him.

He nodded to show he had heard.

As I walked by Ziva's desk, I layed the photo for her on top of her papers so she'd be sure to see it. She was not one to show feelings all to easily, but then neither was I.

I thought she'd prefer to not talk about it like McGee had.

As I reached the elevator and I hit the button, I glanced back to the bull-pen. I watched as McGee picked up the picture, smiling at it one more time before setting it to lean against his pencil holder where he could see it.

**-------Ziva--------**

_**(change POV)**_

She walked in to the bull-pen, tossing her backpack under her desk. Her eyes flicked to the empty desk across from hers before quickly diverting her gaze somewhere else, away from the heart-breaking sight.

She pulled her chair out and sat down, making sure to keep her eyes focused on anything but the other desk; noticing the photo laying on top of her papers and unfinished reports, she picked it up.

As she looked at it, she couldn't help but smile at the image; recalling the memory with perfect clarity. She continue to smile at the memory the photo had caused her to recall when she was struck by a thought that made her smile turn into a confused frown.

"McGee?"

"Yeah, Ziva?" he said in reply, looking up from his computer.

"Where did this come from?" she asked, holding up the picture.

He stood, walked over to her desk and took the photo from her with a look of curiosity. He already had a good idea where it had come from, but best to check.

He gave a small smile after he saw what the picture portrayed before handing it back to her.

"Gibbs." he answered simply.

"Gibbs?" She asked, bewildered, "But how did he get this?" she asked.

"I think he found them when he went through Tony's desk. He gave me one too and he just left for Abby's with another one." He explained.

"Oh." was all she could think to say. She was surprised. Surprised that Tony had these pictures and surprised that Gibbs was displaying such a sentimental act by handing them out to everyone.

Then she realized why Tony had kept the photos, she was able to summon it up in one word: Family.

She felt another pang in her heart. Not that she would ever admit it, but she had spent the past week crying, grieving, and sulking around her apartment.

She had talked to only one person the entire week, and that had been her neighbor. An older woman in her sixties, who lived two doors down from her and also the only neighbor she got along with. She had asked her what was wrong, but she just replied with a "it's complicated" before steering the conversation to something else.

Only when did she get back to her apartment did she realize she had given Tony a lecture on using the term 'complicated' not too long ago. That had started a fresh wave of tears.

And it wasn't complicated, it was actually very simple. She missed him. She missed Tony, all the incessant, non-stop, teasing, hazing, and movie references that were all to common from him. Stopping for a bite to eat or a cup of coffee together after a particularly stressful case to relieve some tension. Teaming up on McGee to put superglue on said MIT grad's computer keyboard, or to harass him about his books.

She missed her partner. Her friend.

"Ziva, you okay?" McGee's voice broke into her thoughts.

"No, McGee, I am not." She answered truthfully, shaking her head. She saw him hesitate a moment before moving forward and wrapping his arms around her. She was surprised to say the least. McGee had hugged her before of course, she had gotten hugs from everyone on the team, but this was different. He wasn't hugging her because he had missed her or because he had been worried about her and was glad she was okay, he was hugging her to try and comfort her.

She hugged him back, accepting the comfort as well as giving some. After a few moments they broke apart, McGee looking slightly awkward.

"Thank you, Tim." She said, quietly.

He nodded, patting her arm comfortingly before returning to his own desk.

_"Not getting soft now are we, Officer David?" _

The ghost of the voice asked her as teasingly as it would if Tony had been there in person.

She smiled slightly, sitting back in her chair and picking up the photo again, running her thumb over the image.

_"And sentimental? I thought you told me you didn't buy into all that sentimental junk, Zee-vah!"_

Smiling again, she propped the picture up so it was still in her line of vision so she could see it still while she worked.

**------Palmer-----**

Ducky looked up when the doors leading to his office opened, his young assistant walking through them.

"Good morning, Mr. Palmer." he greeted.

"Morning, Doctor." he replied as he hung up his coat. His usual chipper attitude gone.

Ducky watched him carefully, as he put his things down on his desk and got settled, taking note of the deep, purple bruises under the younger man's eyes from lack of sleep.

He was quiet. Too quiet. Usually he would be telling Ducky of his latest exams, papers, or classes. He had tendency to ramble sometimes. Ducky wasn't quite sure where his assistant had picked that up from.

He had to wonder briefly how he had held up during the past week. He had called Jimmy once, just to check on him. Palmer had said he was fine but it was obvious that he really wasn't. Not all too surprising, Ducky mused, he had just lost one of his best friends. Ducky wasn't sure when exactly the two of them had become so close. But he was inclined to think it was sometime after Jethro's 'retirement' when Tony had been pushed in the position of team leader.

When Jimmy had first been on the team the two had been friends in a way, but they weren't really all that close. They didn't really spend too much time together or talk all too much. But shortly after Tony's temporary promotion he had noticed changes. They seemed more friendly and they certainly talked more often with one another.

Once he had been re-entering autopsy and saw the two of them leaning against one of the tables, talking. Pausing outside the door, and shamelessly eaves-dropping, he discovered giving advice to the field agent. On various occasions after that he would notice the two talking, supplying advice for the case when asked, when they thought no one was listening. But Ducky had known. And he was glad they were such good friends.

The sound of a bunch of ruffling papers disrupted his musings. Looking over he saw Jimmy had dropped a file full of papers all over the floor.

Palmer glared at the mess, giving a frustrated huff, before bending down and scooping them all up.

Usually Jimmy had impeccable patience but the past week he had little to no patience whatsoever. The least little thing irritated him to the point he would lose his temper. But that was simply the way he dealt.

Jimmy sighed, closing his eyes momentarily to rein in his temper before trying to get all of the papers shoved back into the folder.

Giving him a sympathetic look, Ducky stood, going over to the younger ME.

"?"

"Yes, doctor?" he asked, pausing in his action to look over to his mentor.

Instead of answering he simply handed Jimmy the photo Jethro had given him earlier.

Palmer took it quietly. Seeing the image, a smile twitched at his lips.

"What was he saying?" Ducky asked about the photo, prompting the younger man to speak.

"He, uh, he was giving me advice. There was this girl I liked from the mail department, but I hadn't made a move yet. He was trying to, as he put it, 'impart some wisdom'." Jimmy explained with a single chuckle. He paused for a second or so before adding, "We've been dating for about five months. I told Tony I owed him one, but I guess I can't really repay the favor can I?" he asked, still starring at the photo.

"Actually, Mr Palmer, you can still do something for him."

"How?" he asked, finally looking up.

"By not forgetting him." he said wisely.

"I don't think I could if I tried." he replied.

Ducky came him a small, understanding smile, as he patted his shoulder.

He would never be able to forget him either. None of them would.

**-------Abby------- **

_**(change back to original POV)**_

"Abs?" I asked, entering the unusually silent lab.

"Here, Gibbs." she called from a corner of the lab.

I walked around into the inner section of the lab. She was sitting at her desk, her hair pulled out of her pig tails, no makeup. She had something in her hands that she was looking at her, running her fingers over it.  
"Abby?" I asked, sitting on the desk in front of her.

"Hey, Gibbs." she answered with a sniff. I looked down at the object in her hands. It was Tony's ID. She was looking at his photo, running her fingers over it. It was a decent photo of Tony as far as ID photos went, it had his trademark grin.

"I keep looking at his picture, seeing his smile and it's like he's here, ya' know? Like when he would sneak up behind me and ruffle my pig-tails and make a joke." she said, sniffling again.

"I really, really miss him, Gibbs." she sobbed, dropping the ID and wrapping her arms around me. I pulled her into a hug, she buried her head into my shoulder and started crying. I tightened my hold on her. I didn't say anything, knowing there was nothing I could say to make her feel better. Heck, there was nothing I could do to make _myself _feel better.

I just held her until she cried herself out. After a while she pulled back, wiping at her eyes.

"Thanks, Gibbs."

"Welcome, Abs." I said, handing her a tissue from the near empty box on her desk.

She picked up the ID and leaned it against the computer, like I had the photo upstairs on my desk.

"It's not the best picture of him, I've even taken quite a few of him with the rest of the team that were allot better than this and gave them to him, but I don't know what he did with them."

I smiled inwardly, I had figured it might have been Abby.

"Maybe this will work better, Abs." I said, handing her the photo.

She took it and smiled at it.

"Much better." She said with a small smile, taking the ID and replacing it with the picture.

It was silent a minute as Abby stared at the picture.

"I miss him, Gibbs." she said again, sadly, still staring at the picture.

'Me too, Abs." I agreed, looking at the image of my senior field agent from a younger and happier time.

Abby's head snapped towards me, her eyes slightly wide.

"Gibbs!"

"What?" I asked, looking at her worriedly.

"You just admitted something about your feelings." she said prodding my chest with a finger.

I just stared at her, shocked, and even slightly amused.

"Oh come on, Gibbs!" She said when I didn't respond, "You never talk about what you're feeling. Never ever! But this time you did! About Tony! He'll be over the moon! Wait until I tell hi---" She stopped, the excited look dropping from her face as she realized she couldn't tell him anything.

I felt the same sharp pang I'm sure she was feeling right about now. I had done it more than once, too.I'd make a mental note to tell Tony something or mention something to him only to realize he wasn't there and that he was gone.

I gave her a sympathetic look, pulling her into another needed hug. She clutched a fistful of my shirt, burying her face in my jacket, and biting her lip to keep from crying.

"It's okay, Abs." I whispered to her, knowing it was a lie.

"How can you say that, Gibbs?" she asked, her voice muffled, "How can it be okay? Tony's---" she stopped, letting out a single sob before burying her face deeper into my jacket.

I closed my eyes trying to keep my own emotions in check, I blinked a couple of times to keep tears from slipping.

Kissing the top of her head, I held her a little while longer until she shooed me out of her office so that she could be 'alone with the gang', (Her computers and masspec. )

I sighed deeply as I stood in front of the elevator waiting for the doors to open. This was going to be a very long day.

I hadn't been in the squad room twenty minutes when my phone rang and I was alerted of a new case. We drove out to Quantico to inspect the scene of Petty Officer Baxter Newels, who had been found in his living by a neighbor, with a single gun-shot to the head.

During the processing I tried to give Tony an order at least twice only to have to realize that he wasn't there, each time making my heart hurt again. I noticed Ziva and McGee doing it, too. The look on their faces ones of devastation when they had to come to the same realization.

Back at the squad room I turned to his desk, ready to ask for an update only to find it empty. Turning away and mumbling a line about getting coffee to Ziva and McGee, I left. Returning ten minutes later than it should have taken me, coffee in hand.

I had used the other ten minutes to make sure my expressionless mask was still in place and to collect myself to make sure it didn't slip.

By nine O'clock that night, after going through five grieving family members and friends, three interviews, dozens of forensic and autopsy tests, and at least eight more cups of coffee, we were able to prove it was a suicide and wrap up the case.

I waited at my desk as McGee and Ziva silently finished their reports and turned them in. The night painfully devoid of the usual light-hearted banter and chatter. After handing in their finished reports they mumbled a quiet "Good night, boss." before leaving, looking both solemn and tired.

Giving their reports a once over and dreaming them right, I put them in a pile with my own to take to the director tomorrow.

Glancing one last time at the picture of myself and Tony, I clicked off the light, flooding the bull-pen in darkness. I waited for the elevator, the same thought that had been occupying all our heads today on my mind. I miss him.

**############################################################**

**There I reallly, I hope you liked it! And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE with a cherry on top, leave me a review! Please?**

_**PLEASE READ:**_

**At one point I had a photo of Kate in the group, but Gibbs couldn't exactly give it to her so I just made it the current team. Just so you know. Didn't want anyone thinking I don't think of Kate as part of the team.**

**As for the quotes:**

**"Are you thinkin what....." Is from **

**"If the porbie's been probing....." I think is from Desginated Target. But I'm not sure.**

**"Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo....." Is from Family.**

**"James Bond, very James Bond..." I can't remember, I know it's from one of the eps. of the first two seasons.I have an inkling it might be Split Decison, but don't hold me to that.**

**Also Gibbs' photo was a moment taken from Iced.**


	4. Surprise

**Hey everyone, here's the next chapter! I really hope you like it! :)**

**Warnings for possible OOC moments.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own it!**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------**

Three days later

I glared at the numbers on my alarm clock while swinging my legs over the edge of the bed as I made to get up. Three AM. I usually didn't get up until six.

Not that I had been sleeping for the past hour or so anyway. I had been asleep at one point. Until another nightmare hit. Same as always, Tony would walk into the squadroom, alive and well, we'd have a case and each time he would be killed. Shot, stabbed, bombed, poisoned. Sometimes he would be killed in front of me, other times he would even die in my arms. Each time different, yet each the same. Tony, dead, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I scrubbed a hand across my face, taking note of the deep, purple bruises underneath my eyes in the mirror of the bathroom.  
I turned away from the sight and instead moved to take a shower and get dressed.

After finishing my morning routine, I grabbed a piece of toast as I went to the door. I hadn't had much of an appetite lately.

After I had actually gotten in the car, it hit me. I was heading to work, quite a bit early too. An extra two hours of starring at that empty desk. An extra two hours of unusual quiet. And an extra two hours of sheer loneliness.

I had went into work early before. It was quiet, desks were empty. But this was different. Now one of those desks wouldn't be filled.

And sometimes the squadroom wouldn't even be completely empty. Sometimes Tony had been there. Working late at night or early morning. Cause of a bad case or a nightmare. Not that he ever admitted that to me or to anyone. But I knew the signs, I could tell. And for whatever reason, coming into work and working by himself or sometimes just the two of us working, made him feel slightly better.

Maybe, like me, he reveled in the quiet time to calm his mind. Or maybe because he knew he didn't have to wear his mask in front of me it would put him at ease. Whatever the reason, it seemed to work for the both of us.

But I couldn't do that this time. Because the person who unknowingly helped me, was no more.

So for now, I just drove. First stopping to go for a run, then for coffee, and finally ending up at the Navy Yard.

The entire time asking myself the same questions I had been asking since Tony had been killed. Why him? Why not me?

################################

I glanced around the bull-pen again. It was way too quiet. There were no jokes, comments, threats, movie references, or rubber-band fights to liven the day. Not anymore. Ziva and McGee were quiet and subdued, not saying a word unless they were asked a question or maybe a simple good morning. Nothing more, nothing less.

I sighed, closing my eyes and, not for the first time, seriously considering just walking straight up to Vance and handing him my resignation.

I had written one yesterday when the silence and emptiness had become too much. All I had to do was turn it in. Yet, for my remaining team and family, I couldn't do it. Not yet anyway. But I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle the emptiness of the squadroom. The unbearable silence. The large gaping hole Tony had previously filled.

My eyes jerked open at the ringing noise emitting from my cell. I snatched it up, glad for something to break the silence.

"Gibbs." I said simply, realizing my voice sounded as tired as I felt.

"Boss....." a voice started. I didn't hear the rest of what the person was going to say as I dropped the phone and it clanged against the desk.

I stared straight ahead, hand still in the position of holding the phone and I'm sure my face was a sight to see.

I had heard him. I had heard Tony. Tony who had died over a week ago. I blinked once. Twice. Part of me couldn't believe that I even considered it being Tony and that I was just drawing off of false hope. The other part of me, however, wished it to be true more than anything else.

I heard a shout from the phone that snapped me out of my internal struggle of wish and want with doubt and not wanting to build up hope.

I caught a sight of Ziva and McGee starring at me, they looked almost terrified. Of course the last time I had reacted badly to a call it had been about Tony's death, no wonder they would react the way they were.

I snatched up the phone which was now laying on the floor and shoved it closer to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Boss, thank God, I was starting to think you'd been attacked or somethin'." It was defiantly Tony's voice. There was no mistaking that tone, especially when that teasing undercurrent was added.

"Hold that thought." I said tightly.

"Boss?" he asked, sounding confused.

I didn't answer, I just got up from my desk and walked to stand in the corner near the stairs out of range of hearing of Tim and Ziva. No need to build up their hopes until I was positive it was actually Tony.

"Tony?" I asked finally, my voice sounding hopeful, even to my own ears.

"Yeah, boss. What's going on? I know it's a little shocking, but it can't be that bad."

As soon as he had spoke the first two words a huge smile involuntarily made it's way across my face. I could have literally jumped for joy and would have if I didn't think it would draw attention. I don't remember when I'd felt so relieved. I couldn't believe it. He was alive. He wasn't the one who had been killed in the fire. He was alive and, hopefully, well. Thank God, I thought in a silent prayer.

I blinked my eyes a few times to stop any tears from actually falling from my eyes.

"Tony, you okay?"

"Fine, boss. Are you sure _you're _okay?" he asked.

I gave a single chuckle, my voice sounding tight again.

"Gibbs? Really, you don't sound good. What's going on there?"

"Nothing, DiNozzo. Where," I cleared my throat to make my voice sound more natural,"Where are you?"

"Bethesda." he said simply, unbelief coloring his tone when I had told him it was nothing.

"Bethesda? I thought you said you were okay?" I asked, all of my red flags going up at the mention of him at a hospital.

"Yeah, well, I do have a broken arm. They still need to set it but I wanted to call you first, tell you that you can call off the search now."

"Search?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"Yeah, the-----" he stopped.

"Tony?" I asked.

"You weren't looking for me?" he asked his voice as hurt as I'd ever heard it which made my own heart pang considerably.

"Tony, wh---"

"I thought you never left a man behind?" he asked, his voice starting to sound angry.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I'm talking about how you stopped looking after those dirtbags took me." he said, voice almost defensive now, but the hurt was still plain as day.

"Took you?" I asked, surprised.

"Those two----!" he paused again, "You didn't realize I was missing?" he asked, also surprised now.

"No. We thought you had------" I closed my eyes for a minute, "We thought you had died in an electrical fire at the coin laundry." I explained, my voice slightly ruff as my mind flashed back to through all those horrid memories that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

"You thought I had----?"

"Died......Yeah, Tony."

He stayed silent for a longer time now.

"Well, I guess that's a good excuse for not looking for me." he said finally with a short, humorless laugh, but I could tell he no longer blamed us.

"If you were taken then how---?" I asked.

"Please, Gibbs, you underestimate me." he said, voice teasing again. "I got away......Actually it wasn't that hard. The idiots who took me were a couple of complete reason it took me so long was because I had to wait it out until I could get past the one idiot." he said dryly.

"Why do they think they took you?" I asked "And why keep you all this time?"

"Well, their boss was ticked at NCIS. Some agent put him jail twenty-six years ago. He just got out a few weeks ago and cooked this up to get back at them. Kidnap one agent, make the others think he died, and then kill him for real."

"Why didn't they just kill you instead of kidnapping you and then killing you?" I asked. Not that I cared, I'm just glad that Tony was still alive.

"I have no idea," Tony said "This guy had more than one screw loose if you know what I mean. I don't think he really thought it through too well, otherwise he would have hired two morons that could actually carry out a shooting and kill me. Course I'm not complaining." he said.

"Me either." I added under my breath.

"Like I said, they didn't think it through. He just wanted to make someone suffer because he was, ah 'wrongly accused of a crime by the brainless NCIS idiots who dared call themselves agents' " he said, "His words, not mine." he added quickly.

"He actually told you all of that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know how in the movies the bad guys always have to have those long, boring speeches explaining the genius behind their plans?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, apparently this guy watched too many movies." he said.

I chuckled, my heart the lightest it had been since I had gotten that first phone call.

"Gotta go, boss, these vultures are here pecking at me to let them set my cast." he said and I could just see him rolling his eyes.

I heard someone else say something to him.

"I don't care, Brad.....No you are not sticking that needle in me." he griped to the doctor.

"Hey, DiNozzo."

"Yeah, boss?" he asked, "Brad, leave me alone a minute would ya'?"

"See you in a few." I said and snapped the phone shut before he could protest.

I dropped my phone in my pocket, aware of the smile still plastered on my face. And again it hit me, Tony was alive and well and he would be coming home soon.

I couldn't help it, I pumped my fist into the air, hissing a semi quiet "Yes!" as I did so.

I walked back into the bull-pen, smile still in place, only slightly subdued now, to see McGee sitting on Ziva's desk talking quietly with her quietly.

"I do not know, McGee, but I am worried too. The last time Gibbs got a ph---" I heard Ziva start to say before spotting me and stopping abruptly. McGee looked over his shoulder and upon seeing me jumped to his feet, turning to face me.

"Gibbs?" Ziva asked. She looked as if she was trying to decide if she should be worrying for my sanity. I hadn't smiled since before Tony's supposed death. But then again, neither had they.

"McGee, go get Abby, Ducky, and Palmer."

"On it, boss." he said, hurrying off to the elevator.

"Gibbs, is everything alright?" Ziva asked.

"You mean should you be worried?" I asked.

"Yes."

"No, you shouldn't." Seeing she was still disbelieving, I added, "Everything's fine, Ziver." I said in a much softer tone and using her nickname to try and assure her.

I could tell she still wasn't too sure about that but she didn't press the matter for which I was grateful.

Sitting back at my desk I tried to think how best to tell them. They wouldn't really believe me if I simply told them I had gotten a call from Tony. They would undoubtedly think I had finally lost my sanity. Couldn't blame them, the past week I had started to wonder about that myself.

But how would I get them to believe me? The only way they would is if I had proof. What proof did I have though except for Tony himself?

That'd have to be it, I decided, I'd show them. Once they saw Tony with their own eyes they would believe it.

"Jethro? Is everything alright?" Ducky's voice asked, making my head snap in his direction to see him enter the bullpen followed by McGee, Abby, and Palmer.

"Better than alright, Duck." I said, my grin widening.

"Well, what happened?" he asked, looking at me carefully.

I opened my mouth, tempted to just tell them, but a few seconds later shut it again. I wanted to tell them, to somehow find a way to make them see that it was the truth and Tony was alive, but I knew better. "Come'on." I said, standing, "We're going the Bethesda."

"Bethesda? Is someone hurt?" Abby finally asked. She had been unnaturally silent ever since Tony's death. You might get a good morning or thank you, but other than that she never said a word unless spoken too. It was starting to scare me.

"No, Abs, no one's hurt. But there is someone there you need to see." I said as assuringly as I could.

She nodded and fell back into silent mode.

"Jethro, what's going on with you?" Ducky asked, placing a hand my arm as I made to walk by him.

I could see it in his face, he already thought I was losing it. Wasn't too big of a leap though considering how the past week had been I reminded myself.

"Ducky, trust me, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

He looked steadily at me a moment, his eyes sad, but he finally nodded.

I lead my sullen team, grin still in place, down to the parking garage, climbing in one of the agency vehicles so there would be enough room for everyone.

It was silent the entire twelve minute drive there. But that may be because I was driving faster than I usually did and they were all clinging to whatever support they could find. I saw Abby dig her nails into McGee's leg as she tried to keep from tipping over and Ziva's hands flew to cling to the back of Ducky's seat but I didn't slow down.

I needed to get the hospital. To see Tony, to make sure it wasn't something I dreamed up. Something my imagination had created to fulfill the wish to see him alive and whole again.

I shook my head to get rid of the thought. Tony _was _alive and he _was _going to be fine. I told myself silently. He had to be.

As we pulled into the parking lot and the others took a few seconds to regain their equilibrium I swore that once we got Tony back home and safe, he was never leaving my sight again. That way maybe, just maybe, we could avoide loseing him a third time.

As we walked through the doors to Bethesda I ordered them to stay back as I went to the nurses station.

"I'm here about Anthony DiNozzo." I said to the head nurse, quietly enough the others couldn't hear.

"Are you Gibbs?" she asked.

"Yes."

"He said you'd be coming to pick him up. He's in the waiting room." she said, pointing behind me.

"Thank you." I said quickly, heading back to the team.

"Are you going to tell us now?" Ziva asked, impatiently.

I glanced at her quickly before deciding now was as best time as ever.

"We're here to pick up DiNozzo." I said simply. No point in beating around the bush.

"Jethro...." Ducky started.

"I haven't gone crazy, Duck. I thought I had at first, but it really was Tony. He called me from here, he----"

"Jethro, I know you took it quite hard when Anthony was killed, we all did, but this is----"

"Ducky, I promise you. It really is DiNozzo." I tried to assure "Come'on." I added, gently pulling on the ME's arm and taking him towards waiting room. Towards Tony. The others following behind us.

I stopped a few feet into the room. Tony sat in one of the chairs, a magazine laying across his lap, his left arm now wrapped in a white cast. He had a few bruises on his arms and face and looked like he dropped quite a few pounds. But he was there. He was alive and breathing. I felt like jumping for joy again.

"Oh my." Ducky whispered and Abby gasped behind us.

Tony's head snapped up and he grinned at the sight of us.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, tossing the magazine onto the table and jumping up with ease. I didn't miss though at how he favored his right leg or the fact that he seemed just a bit shakey.

"You guys okay?" he asked, that DiNozzo grin spread widely across his face.

"Anthony?" Ducky breathed.

Tony's grin widened, "In the flesh!" turning to me he asked, "I'm guessing they didn't believe you when you told them?"

I opened my mouth but was cut off by Abby who all but screamed "Tony!" rushing past us and nearly attacking him in a hug.

"Woah! Good to see you, Abs." He said hugging her back.

Instead of answering she started sobbing onto his shoulder.

"Hey, Abs, it's okay." he tried to sooth, throwing us a look that screamed 'help me!'

I chuckled, gently prying Abby from Tony, trying to calm her.

"It's okay, Abs." I whispered to her "It's gonna be okay."

It took only a few seconds longer for the others to register that it really was Tony they were seeing and not their imagination or a dream and for them to engulf him in hugs as Abby had done. Tony was grinning the entire time, ecstatic with the warm welcome and the fact that he had been missed and wanted.

"It is so good to have you back, Anthony." Ducky stated, patting the younger man's arm.

"Yes it is, but if you ever do anything like that again I will make sure you wish you had never been born, DiNozzo." Ziva threatened, prodding his chest with a finger.

"Missed you to, Zee-vah." He said, grin still in place, rubbing the sore spot on his chest now.

She smiled giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and teasingly messing up his hair.

"Hey!" he proclaimed as he tried to make his hair lie flat again. "You're jus----"  
She mock glared at him causing him to quickly shut his mouth.

"Don't worry, Tony, I'll protect you from her. But she is right. You do that to us again and you're a dead man walking." McGee assured, patting his friend on the back.

"Thanks allot, Probie." Tony replied, rolling his eyes.

My heart swelled at the sight of our family back together and whole again. Tony, such a large part of our little family, back with us and the others now whole again now that he had returned. Everything was going to all right again.

"So, boss," Tony said, breaking into my thoughts, "Are you gonna yell at me or headslap me?"

"Are you _trying _to get in trouble?" Palmer whispered to his friend, throwing a quick, slightly frightened glance at me.

"Might as well get it over with." Tony said, shrugging and then straighting his stance as if waiting for the storm to hit.

I stepped forward until I was standing in front of him; I smiled to myself as he tensed, waiting for the slap or whatever threats I was going to issue.

Instead I pulled him into a hug, holding tightly and placing a hand at the back of his head.

Usually I would have never done anything like that, especially in front of others, but I needed to feel he was here. To know he was real and alive and I wasn't dreaming.

I felt him in tense in surprise but I still continued to hug him and after a few seconds he relaxed

After I had pulled back, he stood staring at me. Shock written all over his face, as if he was wondering if I had been possessed or not.

Reaching my hand up I smacked the back of his head where I had previously held my hand.

"That's twice, DiNozzo. We get lead to believe you're dead again and I'll kill ya' for real." I threatened with no real heat. Something Tony noticed.

"Gotcha, boss." he agreed with a smile.

A small smile twitched at the corner of my mouth.

"Awww, Gibbs!" Abby squealed, throwing her arms around my neck in a hug, nearly knocking me over.

I patted her hand, trying to release her tight grip so I could breathe again.

"I suppose we should get home." Ducky said, smiling at me knowingly. I chose to simply ignore him at the moment. Just as I was doing with the looks of surprise on Ziva, Palmer, and McGee's faces.

"Oh man, real food, a real bed, a real shower." Tony said in wistful tone, closing his eyes, "Paradise on earth." he added.

Smirking at the long-missed humor, I led the newly reformed team out to the car. Mostly in silence, except for Abby who had become a one-woman talk show informing Tony of everything that had been happening since he left and just how much everyone had missed him.

The minute we were in the car though the usual chatter and banter from all of the team members picked up immediately, never quitting for a second. This time I didn't yell. This time I wasn't annoyed. And this time I didn't make them stop. This time I enjoyed it.

I couldn't seem to wipe the smile off of my face as I listened to their jokes and arguments. I had missed it more than I had ever thought I would and at the moment it was one of the best sounds in the world.

"Hey, I just thought of something." McGee spoke up suddenly from the backseat, loud enough to be heard above the other voices.

"Yeah, what's that, Probie?" Tony asked, "You think of a way to beat the next level of IceFariy?" he teased. "Oh, that felt good! I haven't been able to tease McGee in a week!" Tony exclaimed, leaning his head back on the headrest of the seat in satisfaction.

I smirked, glancing back at them in the rear view mirror.

McGee rolled his eyes, but he was having a hard time keeping a grin off his face.

"What'd you think of McGee?" I asked.

"That coroner that did Tony's....er, well, the guy we thought was Tony's autopsy. There's no way it couldn't have Tony. Obviously. So why'd he say it was?" he replied.

"That is good question, Timothy." Ducky said, looking back at him. "Even if someone was able to change the DNA and blood type on Anthony's file there is no mistaking him for someone else with his medical record."

"Well, the body was most likely badly burnt in the fire. Maybe there was no way to identify the body by his medical records." Ziva added.  
"I don't think so. When Tony's car was bombed, proved it wasn't him because there was no scaring of the lungs. The body that was burnt in the fire would have been in better condition, he shouldn't have had any problem autopsying the lungs." Palmer said, adding his own two cents.

"So then, why'd he say it was me?" Tony asked.  
No one had an answer. But I had a way to find out.

Twisting the wheel, I was able to catch the corner at the last minute.

The others scrambled to catch something to keep themselves from falling as the van nearly went up on two wheels. Their cries of protest were drowned out by the squealing tires and honking horns of the other cars.

"Jethro! What _are_ you doing?!" Ducky yelled, now clutching the door handle for support.

"Getting answers!" I answered, jerking the wheel once more, cutting off yet another driver.

And that's exactly what we were going to do. Get answers. Because whoever thought they could lie to me, especially about the welfare of someone on my team, was going to pay. They were going to pay severely for it.

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**Okay, to be honest, I'm not too sure how well this chapter turned out or if it's as good as the others, but I hope so. Please review and let me know!**

**ABOUT THE NEXT CHAPTER:**

**It'll probably take me a little longer for the next update cause I'm a little stuck on how to make all my ideas work together. But at least Tony is back now, right? :)**

**Again, please review!! :)**


	5. Answers

**I know this chapter is short, but seeing as everyone was looking forward to an update and it was taking me a while with the next chapters, I figured I'd post this to appease everyone while I finish the second half. Sound good? **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own it!**

**And a HUGE thanks to all of my lovely reviewers! I love getting reviews and love that you all take the time to write them. :D**

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I jerked the car into the lot of the local ME's, narrowly missing an oncoming driver.

My anger had reached the boiling point a long time ago. He had lied to me. He had lied to me about Tony's being alive and I wanted to know why. Why he had told me Tony was dead when he actually wasn't. I needed to know.

If he had told me the truth it would have saved me, and everyone else, a week of hurt and anguish.

I got out of the car, slamming the door shut allot harder than necessary.

I saw Ducky unfastening his seat belt and heard the rustling of the others from back as they made to get out too.

Leaning back in through the window, I gave them a simple order. "Stay here."

My order was instantly met with protests and cries of disagreement but I wasn't having them come in with me. This was something I had to do. And besides, it wouldn't be a good idea to have witnesses.

"Hey! I said, 'stay here'!" I yelled over the sound of their voices.

"But Gibbs! This guy lied to us about Tony! He told us Tony was dead!" Abby said willingly "Theres some top forensic equipment in the back. Maybe I could boil him! Or maybe I could poison him! I have some good ideas." she informed me.

I saw some of the others throw her a slightly frightened look, but none of them seemed to object to her ideas. But then neither did I.

"Stay here, Abs. I'll handle it." I said, giving one last order, "Believe me, he's not getting off easy." I assured as I turned to leave, my voice dangerous. They all knew that tone by now. And they knew it meant I was on a mission to make someone suffer and it was best to just stay out of the line of fire.

Practically punching the door open, I stormed into the simple autopsy room to find a man whom I guessed to be Meyers, nearly ready to start working on a body.

He jumped as his door flew open and I stalked in.

"Can I help you?" he asked, slightly nervous, holding his scalpel almost like a weapon.

"Oh, you better hope so." I replied.

He took a single step back as I advanced further.

"What---what's your name again?" he asked, stuttering slightly and completely forgetting I hadn't even offered my name yet.

"Gibbs." I said simply, stopping a good ten or so feet from him.

"Oh......Oh! Agent Gibbs! Yes, I remember you." he said, his face paling. " Is there a problem?" he asked as if he were fearing the answer.

"Oh, yeah. There's a big problem." I answered, my eyes narrowing slightly.

"Well, I can assure you, Agent Gibbs, that as soon as your Agent left my table he was no longer my responsibility. You may want to take whatever problem you have with someone else." He stated with allot more confidence than he surely felt.

"Now, see that's the problem." I said, advancing on him again.

"Oh....and what....what is that?" he asked, not realizing I had him backed against the row of of body drawers.

"It wasn't my agent." I said, my voice a deadly whisper now.

"I assure you, Agent Gibbs, I have no idea how----" he hurriedly started to reply.

But I had had enough. He was lying through his teeth. It hadn't been Tony and he knew that. He had lead me to believe Tony was dead.

I grabbed hold of his shoulders, shoving him into the row of drawers behind him, the scalpel clanged to the floor.

"You knew!" I yelled angrily, "You knew it wasn't him!"

"Agent Gibbs....Pl-please I didn't----"

"Didn't what?! Think you'd get caught?!"

"No! I...I...just thought maybe you would...."

"Hey!" I yelled, interrupting whatever he was struggling to say and he shut his mouth almost instantly, "I want to know why!"

"W-why?"

"Yes, why! Why did you lie?!" I yelled slightly louder. I was done playing games.

"He said he would kill them!" he answered in a rush."

"Who?" I asked, my voice a whisper again.

"Who was he going to kill or who was it?" he asked quickly.

"Both!" I yelled.

"I--I don't know who he was!"

I shoved him harder into the wall.

"He just showed up here, he had a gun! He told me that I had to ID the body from the fire as some Tony DiNozzo or he'd kill Lindsey and Sam!" he said all in a rush.

"Who?" I asked again.

"I told you I don't know who he was!" he yelled in panic.

"No! Who are Lindsey and Sam?!" I yelled.

"My kids!" he answered quickly, even closer to a full blown panic attack.

"Your kids?" I asked, my voice softening slightly with surprise.

"That's right." he said, slightly calmer now that I wasn't yelling. "Lindsey's my daughter and Sam's my son. She's only six and Sam's eight. He said he'd kill them both if I didn't do it."

I continued to glare at him but I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to do anymore. He had lied to to me, made me believe Tony was dead when he wasn't. Which was simply unforgivable.

But what would I have done if I had been in his position? If it had been Tony, Abby, McGee, or Ziva who had been threatened? If someone threatened to kill one, or all of them if I didn't do as they asked I would be hard pressed not to do whatever they wanted immediately.

"Please, Agent Gibbs." he begged, and I realized I still had him pinned against the wall.

"I am so sorry, I never wanted to do it. But I had to protect them. I couldn't let him kill them. I don't know what I'd do without them. Please."

My resolve softened as I thought more about it.

I know I would have done the same thing he had done.

I let go of his shoulders and dropped him back to the ground.

I simply stared at him a moment, which unnerved him slightly, but I couldn't help thinking about what he had said. I was angry that he had lied, for what he had helped the others put me and the team through, but again I couldn't be angry with him because I know I would do the same. Besides, I could always take it out on the ones who had actually taken Tony. The ones who had hurt him. But I couldn't take it out on Meyers. He was just protecting his kids. Like any parent, myself included, would do.

Without saying I word, I just turned and walked away.

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As soon as I re-entered the SUV questions were flying. Wanting to know what I had done and if the unfortunate ME was still breathing or not.

I answered with a simple "It's taken care of." and left it at that.

Not an answer they were happy with, but one they finally had to accept after realizing they were never going to get a better one. Soon they merged back to their banter as we made our way home.

First though, we stopped to get something to eat. None of us had eaten much the past week, especially Tony. He had admitted that his abductors had barely given him enough to live on, so we pulled into Natizo's for Pizza. (It was also Tony's favorite place, but I wasn't about to admit to anyone that was the reason I had chosen that specific restaurant.)

We ordered a few large pizzas and the chatter continued as if it had never stopped.

I shared a smile with Ducky as we both listened to the blessed sound. It was nice having all of the 'kids' together again.

Leaning back and munching on a pizza slice I listened to their familiar joking and teasing and it made me feel at home.

Tony was back, which re-filled the hole that had been emptied when we thought he had been killed. Everything was as it should be.

I took a deep breath, savoring the feel. This was my family.

I snuck away at one point saying I had to use the head, but instead went around the corner and called Vance. I informed him of DiNozzo's predicament and that he could stop trying to shove another agent at me.

He was surprisingly understanding about the situation, saying he would put a team on the trail of finding DiNozzo's kidnappers and giving the entire team, including Ducky, Abby, and Palmer, the rest of the day off.

I snapped the phone shut, still slightly shocked, and headed back out to the others.

After everyone had their fill and the bill was payed, we headed to my place. Tony had tried to insist going to his apartment but the farthest I would go was to stop at said apartment building so he could pick up some of his cloths and essentials. Becuase, as I had informed him, he would be staying with me for a while.

He tried to say there was no need but I argued the point until he relented and agreed, pointing out the fact to him that it would be difficult to do allot of things by himself with one arm in a cast. We both knew from experience that it would be, but I was the only one who knew that that was only part of the reason.

I wanted him where I could keep an eye on him, make sure he was safe. I needed to know that he was alive and well and the best way to keep myself assured of the fact was to have him around where I could keep tabs on him without being obvious about it. I needed to know he was there.

The team stayed well into the night, wanting to be with Tony as long as they were able. Posibly for the same reason I was having him stay there, so they could see for themselves he was okay.

After Tony had gotten a long, hot shower and changed clothes, we stayed in the living room, talking. How they could find so much to talk about I don't know. Seeing as Tony was only gone a week. A fact which I had to keep reminding myself of. It seemed allot longer than a week.

Glancing over at Tony I noticed his eyes drooping, he'd jerk himself awake only to fall asleep again a few seconds later.

I pointed this out to Abby in a whisper and she was able to shoo everyone out so Tony could get some much needed rest.

"Come on! Move it! The man needs sleep and he's not going to get it with all of you vultures around, pecking away for his time! Now, march! One, two, three! One, two, three!" she all but shouted as she ushered them out the door.

I smirked to myself at her antics as I shut the door behind them.

"Alright, DiNozzo." I said, patting his arm to wake him from the chair he fallen asleep in, "Bed time."

"Not a kid, boss." he objected, tiredly.

"Course not," I replied under my breath as I all but shoved my half asleep agent up the stairs to the guest room.

Successfully steering him into to the room, he barely made it as far as the bed before flopping down, face first, and falling asleep.

I rolled my eyes and a small smile tugged at my lips as I threw an extra blanket over my agent and took off his shoes.

After I ran a careful hand through his hair, smiling fondly at him, I left for my own room to get some much needed sleep.

Like Tony, I barely made it to the bed before practically falling onto. The past week and today itself, had taken such an emotional toll that I simply had no energy left.

The adrenaline rush had left my body hours ago and was replaced with pure exhaustion.

Kicking my shoes off onto the floor and pulling the covers over myself, I fell asleep.

In the morning I would realize it was the first time I had gotten a decent night's sleep without the usual night terror since that wretched phone call over a week ago.

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**Hope you enjoyed it! (Even if it was too short) More will be up soon! And PLEASE leave me a review!! :)**


	6. Interogation

**Hey everyone, sorry for the wait. Things got a little crazy, but I wanted to get this posted before tomarrow. Why? Becuse it's my birthday! Yay! Like you needed or cared to know that, but anyway.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Btw, this is not mine. I don't own anything.**

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I blinked several times in surprise as the unidentified noise startled me from sleep.

Taking a few seconds to regain my thoughts, I realized it was the annoying tring of the alarm clock next to my bed.

Leaning up on one elbow and reaching over, I literally slammed my hand down on the off button to shut the racket up.

Dropping back against the pillow I tried to recall the reason I had slept so soundly. It was a very rare occasion when I slept in long enough to be woken up by an alarm. I only set it as a precaution so I wouldn't be late for work.

As I thought back I realized I hadn't had a nightmare about Tony last night. Tony.

I sat bolt right up as it hit me. Tony. Alive.

No, he wasn't. It must have been a dream. Great, now nightmares were during into impossible wishes.

But, it all seemed so real. It felt real.

Throwing back the sheets, I clambered out of bed and headed down the hall to the guest room where I remembered (or dreamed) Tony had slept.

I froze in the doorway.

He was there. He was alive. It hadn't been a dream.

Relief filled me and a smile slipped it's way onto my face.

Crossing the room in a few simple strides, I watched Tony. Letting the steady rise and fall of his chest along with hearing the deep, even breathing settle my nerves.

I pulled the blanket, which had slipped some point in the night, back up over him, running my hand through his hair again before I left.

I went downstairs, heading for the kitchen to make us breakfast.

Ten minutes later my ears picked up a slight creek from one of the upstairs floor boards, signaling Tony had woken up.

I frowned as I heard him stumble, remembering how he seemed favor the one leg. Making a mental note to ask him about later I started working on breakfast for the both of us.

I started working on eggs, bacon, and toast, trying to as, Ducky had instructed, to make sure he ate decent meals for a change, especially after not having much to eat the past week.

I was just sliding the last of the bacon on the plate as he came downstairs and into the kitchen, freshly showered and changed.

"Need help, boss?" he asked, as I grabbed another mug from the cabinet.

"Sit down, DiNozzo." was my simple order, which he thankfully obeyed for the moment.

I sit a mug and plate (conicidently the one with the largest amount of food on it) in front of him before grabbing my own plate and mug of coffee.

Besides a "Thanks, boss." from Tony, we ate in silence.

Tony, who finished just a few seconds after I did, started trying to pick everything in one-handed.

"What're ya' doin' DiNozzo?" I questioned almost tiredly.

He gave me a confused look, "Cleaning?" he said in a state-the obvious tone.

I said nothing, just taking the plates and mugs from him, giving him a 'just sit down and shut up' look, which he obeyed promptly, only getting up once to grab another mug of coffee.

Watching him and noticing how he still put more pressure on his left leg, I asked one of the questions that had been nagging at me.

"What happened to your leg, DiNozzo?"

His cheeks tinged with pink, but otherwise he didn't answer.

"Tony?" I prompted.

"I might have, possibly, fallen into a ditch when I was on my way back."

I rose an eyebrow in surprise that.

Misreading my expression he hurried on to explain, "I saw car lights coming and ducked, a little bit ungracefully I might add. I figured the only car that would have been out in the boonies at that time of night would have been the kidnappers."

"Yeah, was it?" I asked.  
"I don't know, I didn't look."

I had to roll my eyes at the answer. Most people would take it as he had been afraid they would spot him so he had chosen stay hidden. But for those who knew Tony, they knew it meant he had been into much pain from his ankle and already broken arm to pay much attention to anything else.

"First thing today DiNozzo, you're having Ducky look at that."

"Come'on, boss, it isn't bad really. Just twisted it a bit, that's all.  
"DiNozzo, either you go to Ducky, or I'll take you the hospital, your choice." I threatened, knowing his hatred for hospitals

"Gotcha, boss." he replied, winching in defeat.

Nodding my head once, I glanced at my watch, blinking in surprise when I realized we would be late if we didn't leave soon.

"Alright, DiNozzo, let's go." I said, handing him his backpack.

"You mean you're actually letting me back to work?" he asked in surprise, slightly hopeful.

"Sure, you can still help. You're just not allowed to handle suspects, guns, or to work in the field."

"So basically you're saying I'm on desk duty?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Yup. Now, come'on we're gonna be late." I said, grabbing my sig and strapping into it's holster as I led him out the door.

Taking a few of my shortcuts so as to avoid the worst of traffic we were able to make it through the gate to the parking lot with ten minutes to spare.

Tony had kept up a constant monologue the entire trip and for once I didn't interrupt. I just let him keep at it. Enjoying the sound of the voice I had once thought I'd never get to hear again.

I smiled to myself as he got into explaining some movie that he had just referenced. I had missed it way more than I'd ever admit.

He continued his one-man conversation as we entered the elevator, only pausing when my cellphone rang.

"Gibbs." I barked into the speaker.

"Agent Gibbs, I have good news for you." Leon's voice drifted from the other end of the line.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Johnson's team caught the guys who took DiNozzo. The two accomplices have already been processed, but your kidnapper is in interrogation room four; his name's Edward Dunn." he informed me.

"I want to do the interrogation." I volunteered quickly. I wasn't going to pass this up. I needed to know why he had done this. And if I happened to be able take out some of anger on the moron who caused this whole mess, well that was just a bonus.

"Already way ahead of you, Gibbs. Whenever you're ready." Leon replied.

"Good." was my only response before snapping the phone shut.

"Change of plans, DiNozzo." I said, directing the elevator to our new destination. "I've got an interrogation to handle."

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I stormed into the interrogation room, leaving Tony safely on the other side of the glass.

The culprit looked up quickly as the door banged opened yet he didn't seem the least bit worried or afraid of me. Big mistake.

Narrowing my eyes at him I took the seat opposite of him silently. He watched every move I made carefully, as if assessing an opponent.

Another mistake. I wasn't his opponent. I was his worst nightmare.

He continued to keep an eye on me as I sat across from him, glaring.

After a stretch if several seconds I finally broke the silence.

"Why?"

He blinked in surprise, "What?"

"Why?" I repeated "It's a simple question. Why did you do it?"

He scowled now, "Because you idiots screwed up my life."  
"Actually you did that, and it wasn't even us. It was another , as it turns out, retired years ago."

"I know." was his simple answer.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Then why?"

He didn't answer, but instead stared at me.

Glaring again I tried a different question, "Okay, then explain this to me. Why did you kidnap my agent and then try to kill him, why not just kill him?" I asked. Although I was grateful for what ever twisted answer he was to give as it meant Tony was still alive.

"Because one thing I realized with you _agents_" he said the word almost as an insult, "Is that you hate making mistakes."

"So?" I asked.

"So what bigger mistake than to think your partner is dead and then to realize he was actually alive for another week before he was murdered? To have to realize there was an entire week you could have been searching for him? Saving him even? But you didn't because you made the mistake of believe he was dead?"

I glared at him again. Tony was right, this guy defiantly had more than a few screws loose and that only served to make him more twisted and disturbed.

"And why Agent DiNozzo? Why him? Why not another agent?" Anyone listening would think I was simply trying to see into his demented perspective to solve our case. I was the only one who knew that I was asking him the same questions I had been asking myself for over a week. _Why Tony? Why him? Why not someone else?_

In answer he simply shrugged at me.

"So it didn't matter which agent it was, just so long as it was an NCIS agent?" I asked angrily, "Did you stop to think that the agent you planned on killing had friends? Family?

"I had family! Friends! A life! And that stupid agent didn't care did he?! So why should I?!"

I glared.

"You committed a crime! He was making sure you served your time for it! But the agent you took was just an innocent bystander! He didn't do anything to you!"

"It doesn't matter! He's expendable, there's twenty more where he came from, ready to take his place!"

I snapped.

In a fluid motion and faster than anyone else would have reacted, I was off my seat and jerked Dunn from his chair, shoving him into the wall.

Tony was _not_ irreplaceable.

"Despite what you think, he is not _expendable_" I growled quietly, dangerously, at him.

"And despite what _you_ think, he's just a worthless excuse for human being! Just like every other agent in this building!" He snapped at me with an unusual amount of bravado.

The remark hit me like a punch to the gut. Tony was certainly not worthless in any sense, the only one who was worthless was the man, if I could call him that, in front of me.

He had taken Tony, led us the believe he was dead, had planned on killing him, had hurt him, called him worthless and irreplaceable.

I was way beyond anger at this point. Beyond Ire. Beyond Rage. I couldn't even come up with the right word to describe what I was feeling right now. All that registered in my brain was what he had done and the fact that I was going to make him suffer for it.

Jerking my sig from it's holster I aimed it against his head, clicking back the safety clip.

I saw his eyes widen and his face pale as he realized I was serious.

Due to my Marine senses, I registered the door opening and someone rushing in, but I didn't care. Dunn wasn't going to make it out of this room alive.

"Gibbs?"

I heard my name, but it didn't really register, my full attention was focused on the face in front of me.

"Gibbs?" The voice asked again gently. Tony.

I just ignored him, I wasn't going to let him or anyone else break my attention.

"Gibbs, let him down. He's not worth it. He's a scumbag, we all know it, but he's definitely not worth you losing your career."

Tony was wrong. I didn't care if I lost my job, I just need to make this idiot suffer for what he had done. What he had done to Tony. To this team. To me.

"Come on Gibbs, I don't want you to get fired because of me, please put him down."

I blinked once and my eyes flicked over to Tony once to see his worried and slightly afraid face watching me carefully.

After a tense stretch of several seconds I let go of the clip and moved my weapon away.

Dunn literally sagged in relief against the wall.

I wanted to kill him, I really did. But Tony didn't want me to do it and if anyone had a choice in the situation, it should be him.

Letting the scum I was holding drop to the ground, I left. Not before grabbing Tony's arm though and dragging him out with me. He was not going to stay in a room with that man.

Letting go of him as soon as we were outside and the door was shut, I made off down the hall, leaving a confused Tony behind me.

I needed to get away for a moment. Just one. Or ten. I needed to regain composure, to calm down, and to make sure I didn't kill the next person who dared cross my path.

Going into the head, which was thankfully empty, I took a deep calming breath that helped sooth my temper, but only slightly.

All of my instincts were telling me to back in there and kill Dunn. To make him pay for what he did. For what he'd said. The only thing that kept me where was, was Tony and the fact that he didn't want me to kill him. But that was the only thing.

Gripping the edge of one of the sinks until my knuckles turned white, I waited until my anger cooled and my temper drifted away.

Walking back out, my face now expressionless, I headed for the bullpen.

Ziva and McGee were both at work on their computers, but DiNozzo was absent. Probably still standing in the hall in a state of confusion I mused.

With a silent huff, I sat down at my desk._ Now what? _I had no cases, all paperwork was done. Briefly I wondered what McGee and Ziva were doing seeing as we had no work that needed our attention, but then I decided I'd really rather not know.

So to keep myself occupied, I pulled up a few old cold case files on the computer and started looking through them.

The silence was incredibly prominent and I hoped Tony would come up to the sqaudroom soon. The quiet was so much like when we had believed him to be dead it nearly sent chills up my spine.

But it looked like Tony had no intention of returning soon, so we continued to work in silence for a short while.

Until all hell decided broke lose.

All Signals, sirens, and warnings were off. Bells were sounding and lights were flashing alerting everyone to an emergency some where in the building.

My gut clenched and my mind whirred as it hit me exactly what was causing the commotion. Who was in trouble.

Tony.

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**Ooooh, I am evil aren't I? Usually I was never one for cliffhangers, but this just seemed like a good place as any to stop. Lol! I'm so cruel.**

**Oh! I was wrong, it was good I brought up my birthday, 'cause now you can all leave me a review as a birthday present! Right? :D Lol!**

**Hope you liked it! :)**


	7. Nightmare

**Okay, everyone, I know this short, but I probably won't be able to do much writing over the next couple of days, if any, so I wanted to post this so you won't be left waiting to see how things turn out for Tony, Gibbs and team. I know I hate when people leave cliffies for a real long time, and I didn't want to do it to you guys, especially after all the lovely reviews. So here it goes. Hope you enjoy!**

**Don't own it, belongs to CBS.**

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_'Not again, no, no, no, not again. Please not again. Please just let him be okay.'_

It was all the kept running through me head, over and over again, as Ziva, McGee and I rushed down the stairs towards the interrogation rooms, weapons drawn.

_'Please, let him be okay. I can't lose him. Not again.'_

Turning the corner and managing to struggle through the group of guards and agents to the front I was faced with one of the worst sights imaginable.

The air froze in my lungs like the blood in veins, my heart dropped to my stomach and my chest constricted to the point I had to wonder if I could breath.

Dunn had his arm wrapped around Tony's neck, pulling his head back enough to hold a knife to his throat. Making sure Tony was in front of him to properly be used at shield. If anyone of us tried to shoot him, we'd hit Tony instead.

"Let him go, Dunn!" I yelled, my voice it's usual no nonsense tone, leaving no room for argument. Hoping he would listen though I knew he wouldn't.

But I was prepared to go to extremes if need be, maybe I could convince him to trade Tony for me. Or kill me instead of him. Anything that meant Tony would be okay.

I'd go to begging if that's what it took, so long as Tony made it though this.

"If I'm not getting out of here then neither is he!" He yelled back, holding the knife closer to Tony's throat, making Tony wince in pain as the blade dug into his throat.

My temper flared and my heart lurched at the same time.

"Dunn, you try anything and you'll have a bullet in your skull faster than you blink!" I yelled.

Dunn's eyes flicked from the group of security guards to the agents, each with their weapons pointed at him, yet he didn't seem the least bit afraid.

But then, he had no reason to be. We couldn't risk killing Tony. And Dunn knew that.

I saw Tony try to maneuver out of the way so we could get a good aim on Dunn, but Dunn had him in too firm a hold. Any other time Tony would have been able over power him with no problem, but with an injured ankle, a broken arm, along with the fact he was malnourished from the past week he wasn't exactly up to par.

"Come'on Dunn, let him go!" McGee yelled from my left, sounding more confident than any of us felt.

"No, you idiots are going to suffer for ruining my life!" He growled.

I watched in horror as he made to cut Tony's neck.

It was one of nightmares all over again. We had just gotten Tony back only to lose him again. To have him die right in front of me. The only difference this time was that I couldn't wake up.

As I saw Tony sag against him and his eyes slide shut, I felt a terrorized scream rise in my throat.

_Not again._

But then suddenly, it was all of a whirl of confusion.

Dunn made to get a better hold on Tony, Tony's eyes flew open and he swung his cast covered arm around, hitting Dunn in the head causing him to stumble.

Dunn kicked out knocking Tony to the ground. Regaining his composer and his hold on the knife he leapt forward, after Tony again.

Aiming with the precision of the sniper I once was, I managed to take him down with a single shot to the head.

Tony, who was still lying on the ground, breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

Lowering my gun, I hurried over to him, Ziva and McGee at my heels.

"DiNozzo? Tony, you okay?" I asked quickly, kneeling next to him, letting the other agents and guards take control of the scene.

"Just peachy, boss." he replied.

I heard McGee let out a deep breath, calming his wracked nerves.

"Probie, doesn't sound too good though, boss. Might wanna check on him next." Tony teased with a slight smirk at McGee.

"I would not be worried about McGee, Tony." Ziva's voice interrupted.

"Why not?" he asked sitting up, grimacing slightly as he did so.

"I told you, if you did anything like that again I would make you wish you had not been born. You haven't been back a day and you are already in trouble!" She vented. She was, like me, angry that we had nearly lost him again. Not really at Tony, but at Dunn, who, fortunately enough for him, was already dead.

Tony stared blankly at her a moment before asking. "This is just you're way of saying you care about me, isn't it?"

"Alright! Alright! Enough, both of you!" I said, interrupting as Ziva opened her mouth angrily to reply.

Tony looked up a Ziva, smiling in triumph at having gotten in the last word.

As he turned his head I caught a glimpse of something that nearly made my heart stop a second time. Blood.

Grabbing Tony's chin, I made him face me so I could inspect the damage.

I relaxed slightly as I noticed it was a simple cut. Not even deep enough for stitches. Still, I would feel a lot more reassured once Ducky confirmed his bill of health.

"Come'on DiNozzo, you're going to Ducky."

"I don't need Ducky, boss. It's just a cut." he complained as I hauled him to his feet.

"One that's still bleeding. Don't think they'll be too happy if you bleed on the carpets, DiNozzo." I said, using the dry tone to cover the slight worry that was still present in my voice.

"I'll just put a napkin over it till' it stops bleeding. I don't need to go see Ducky."

"Fine, you do don't need to see Ducky. But if you don't get you butt down to autopsy and let him check you over anyway, I will make an injury serious enough for you to go see him anyway, got it?." I threatened.

He opened his mouth once, but clamped it shut again when he realized he was going to get anywhere this time.

Grabbing his arm, I lead him to the stairs leading to Ducky's office.

I glanced back once, watching as the agents started securing the scene and blocking off the hallway. Ducky would have to come after the body as soon as Tony was checked over.

I silently breathed a sigh of relief and my heart was finally able to slow as I realized that it was finally over. Dunn wouldn't be after Tony anymore and he was, for now, safe.

I repeated a prayer of thanks in my head a million time, grateful that he was once again alive and well.

I had come so close to losing him again, it had so nearly turned into one of my nightmares. But unlike my nightmares he survived. He was safe.

And at this moment, that was all that mattered.

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Well, what'd ya' think? Good? Bad? Horrible? Let me know, 


	8. Truth

**I am sooooo sorry I took so long to update. But I do have an excuse, I've been sick on and off for the past couple of weeks with swine flu. And my mom has it as well so I've been helping her when I can. Also I got kinda stuck as to where to take this chapter, but I finally was able to work past that and get the next chapter out, sooooo.........enjoy!**

**Btw, not mine. Belongs to CBS and Bellisario.**

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The ride down to autopsy was in silence. Tony didn't say a word and neither did I. Mainly because I was still trying to get those horrid images out of my head.

My blood chilled and I had to repress a shiver as I remember Tony's eyes closing and him slumping against Dunn. I had thought he was dead again. That I had gotten him back, to lose him a second time.

Something told me the nightmares were going to start again tonight. At least Tony would be staying at my place for a while and I could keep an eye on him to make sure he was still there, I reassured myself.

The elevator dinged and my head snapped up at the sound; walking out, Tony behind me, we entered autopsy.

Ducky spun his chair round from his position at his desk as he heard us entering.

"Ah, Jethro, is everything alright upstairs? I heard the alarms."

"Yeah Ducky, everythings fine." I informed. It wasn't. Not really. At least not for me. I suppressed another shiver.

"And Anthony, how are you my dear fellow?" Ducky asked as Tony entered, at a slightly slower pace than normal.

"Hundred percent, Ducky." Tony quipped, using that particular term just to annoy me.

I sent an angry glare his way, making him back down.

"We seem to have a little conflict of opinion on that particular topic, gentlemen. Is everything all right?" Ducky questioned, standing from his chair and coming to stand behind the neatest autopsy table.

Tony opened his mouth but I cut him off.

"Could you look him over, Duck?" I asked, gesturing to Tony who was currently trying to discreetly wipe off some of the offending red liquid off of his still bleeding neck.

"Oh dear, hop up here Anthony." Ducky prompted, patting the top of the autopsy table.

With a distasteful glance at said table, Tony followed instructions and took a seat.

I took note of the lines of relief on his face as he sat down. Running a discreet inspection I noted the careful way he held his ankle and my eyes narrowed. With everything that has happened already this morning I had forgotten to have Ducky check over his ankle. Much to Tony's relief I'm sure.

"Oh my. It looks like this was caused by a knife. Possibly a large pocket knife, juding by the thin line."

Ducky's comment made my thoughts break and I looked over to where he was inspecting the wound.

"It is." I said simply.

Ducky's head snapped up quickly and he sent me a piercing stare. "What exactly did happen, Jethro?" he asked steadily.

I stared a Ducky for a few seconds before answering. I had hoped I wouldn't have to relive it, but I knew that was impossible. I'd still have to write a report and as soon

as she could, Abby would be in the bull-pen demanding to know what had happened and if anyone had been hurt. It was impossible to avoid.

"Dunn, Tony's kidnapper, got hold of him. Had a knife to his throat. DiNozzo got away, but the edge of the knife nicked his throat." I explained in an expressionless voice. Attempting to hide the fact how shaken I really was by what had happened.

"And Dunn?" Ducky asked, his eyes not wavering from my face.

"Dead." I said simply.

Thank the Lord, I thought. Grateful he could no longer cause trouble or heartache.

Ducky heaved a heavy sigh, "You just seem to attract trouble, my dear fellow." he said with a rueful shake of his head as he gently cleaned up the small amount of blood from Tony's neck with disinfectant.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Tony said dryly.

"I believe one could write a novel about all the trouble you get into, dear boy."

"Hey, now there's an idea. 'The Life and Times of Anthony DiNozzo. An adventure like no other.' Could be a bestseller." Tony said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes, attempting to keep a relieved, and slightly amused, smile off of my face.

Ducky simply chuckled, "An adventure like no other, indeed, my boy." he agreed with a smile.

"Check his ankle too, Ducky." I prompted, noticing the ME had nearly finished with the cut.

Tony glanced at me as Ducky started taking off his shoe and it was obvious he had hoped I had forgotten all about his ankle.

"Oh my."

My eyes jumped from Tony, down to where Ducky had been getting ready to check Tony's ankle for injures.

Taking in the red, puffy swelling of the ankle I turned a silent glare to Tony, who was now trying his best to avoid any eye contact with me.

"I'll need to take an x-ray to be sure it's not fractured." Ducky said.

"It's not fractured, Ducky." Tony protested immediately.

"And what led you to this medical knowledge?" Ducky asked, helping to lay Tony's ankle on the autopsy table causing Tony to hiss in pain.

"Because it's my ankle and I can tell. It's not fractured." He said with determination and I had to roll my eyes to the Heavens, praying for strength not to headslap him for his ignorance of his own limitations.

"Yes, well, forgive me that I seek a second opinion." Ducky argued, pulling the X-ray machine over to the table and started setting it up.

Tony grimaced slightly in defeat as he watched Ducky step back and take the x-ray.

We stayed silent, Tony mainly out of disappointed of being overruled by Ducky and myself, as Ducky pulled out the image and put it up on the board, turning the light on, to inspect it.

"Well, Ducky?" I asked.

"It looks like Anthony was right. There are no fractures or breaks of any sort." the older ME answered reassuringly.

"See, told you it was fine." Tony said, his grin on full blast.

"This, my dear boy, is not fine. Yes, you were correct in guessing it was not fractured, but it is far from fine." Ducky chastised as he grabbed some gauze and a bottle of medication, putting the bottle on the table next to Tony and then proceeded to wrap Tony's ankle. "I'll give you the Paracetamol. If the pain worsens I want you to take them."

"Aw, come on, Ducky. I don't need 'em. I'm fi---"

"DiNozzo," I interrupted, "If you say 'fine' one more time, I'm going to get Ducky to wrap some of that gauze over your mouth." I interrupted gruffly.

"Yes, boss."

He didn't try contradicting again as Ducky quickly finished wrapping his ankle and started picking up the extra gauze and tape.

"Anthony, you need to keep that iced. And no excess activities, I don't want you straining it more." Ducky instructed.

"Can I still do field work?" Tony asked.

I looked to Ducky, who threw me a quick glance before answering.  
"I don't see why not. Just don't over tax yourself or it will get worse than it already is."

I scowled slightly at Tony as he threw me one of his 'I told you so' looks before he jumped down easily from the table, snatching the bottle of pain meds as he went, and, while trying to hide the fact that it had jarred his injured ankle, all but sauntered out of the room, showing that he was indeed 'fine'.

I watched him go, keeping my eyes on the door even after he had left.

I heard Ducky heave a heavy sigh, "That young man has set 'fine' as a default. Any time any one asks him a question he automatically has an answer." he commented with a shake of his head. "What _exactly_ happened up there, Jethro? How did Dunn manage to get a hold on Anthony like that?"

I opened my mouth to answer but was soon to realize I didn't really know myself. I hadn't given a single thought to how it happened, just to the fact of what could have happened and what, thankfully, hadn't.

How_ did _Dunn get close enough to Tony? Tony had been in the hall when I left.

"I don't know." I admitted quietly, looking to Ducky.

The older ME rose his eyebrows as I tore out of the room after Tony.

I managed to catch Tony as he was just getting in the elevator. Hurrying to catch up, I slipped between the two silver doors before they shut.

Tony looked at me slightly surprised.

We rode in silence but only for a few seconds before I posed the first question.

"What happened up there, DiNozzo?" I asked, giving him a hard stare.

"Nothing." He answered as convincingly as he could. Which was pretty good, most people would be fooled by the easy, simple answer. But I knew better.

"DiNozzo, when I left you, you were in the hall. What happened?" I asked again.

"I went in to grab the file off the table. Didn't want Dunn getting hold of it. It had classified information." he explained.

My eyes narrowed for a second time as I noticed his posture stiffen slightly. A sure sign showing that he was not going to admit what had happened. Far from it. He was going to try and dance around the answer and avoid answering anything out-right.

"And?" I asked after several seconds of silence, "That doesn't explain how Dunn got hold of you."

"Nope. Sure doesn't." He said simply, sagging in obvious relief as the doors dinged open and he was provided with an easy escape.

My eyes narrowed again at his retreating back. Something else had happened down there and I was determined to find out what.

Punching the down button, I rode back down to the interrogation rooms.

I stormed past the few members of the cleaning crew who were currently scrubbing the blood off the floor where Dunn had landed. The agents and guards having already cleared all evidence and the body from the premises.

I got the feeling of annoyance from them for causing the current mess as I passed and I had to suppress a smirk as I realized the only reason they weren't glaring at me like they would have any one else was because they were afraid I might shoot them too if they did.

Throwing the door open to the observation room I found it, thankfully, empty. The usual camera and recording crew were probably giving witness statements, I realized.

Only momentarily confused with the equipment I was able to figure out how to get the right tape out and rewind it to the point I wanted.

Pressing play, I sat back to watch what really had played out in the interrogation room an hour earlier.

The tape skipped and static flitted across the screen for a moment before the image cleared and I was able to see Dunn sitting in a heap on the floor, only pulling himself up when the door opened. Tony walked in, casting a single glance to Dunn, before grabbing the file off the table and making to walk back out.

"You know your boss is lucky." Dunn spoke up as Tony reached the door, seeming to have regained his bravado now that a gun wasn't pointed at his head, causing said agent to stop in his tracks, turning to look at Dunn.

"What?" he asked, confused

"He's lucky." Dunn repeated.

"And why is that?" Tony asked, clearly annoyed.

"Because if he had killed me, that would have ruined his career. You said so yourself."

"Actually, Dunn, you're the lucky one. Lucky you're not down in autopsy right now."

Dunn laughed, pretending to be distracted by looking his hands over. "Well, he just won't be as lucky next time." he said conversationally, as if he had just commented on the weather.

"And what does that mean?" Tony asked dryly.

"Because even if he doesn't kill me, he could get in serious trouble for hurting me."

"And what makes you think he'll do that?"

"Because, I know what buttons to push." Dunn said with a sickening smile.

Tony's eyes narrowed, "You leave Gibbs alone, Dunn. Trust me, you don't want to mess with him."

Dunn chuckled, "And you're going to stop me?"

"I'm telling you, Dunn, try anything and you'll be worse than hurting."

"Doesn't matter really. Either way, he'll lose his job."

"Dunn, if you think----" Tony said, raising his voice angrily and starting towards the man only to be interrupted by one of the guards sticking his head in the door.

"Agent DiNozzo? Is everything all-right?" he asked.

Tony turned, slightly surprised at being interruprted.

That's when it happened. Now that Tony had his back turrned, Dunn jumped forward, pulling a knife from his pocket and grabbing Tony around the neck.

The guard pulled his gun and aimed at Dunn and then.....snow. The tape cut off.

I slammed my fist down on the table so hard a few tapes clattered to the floor.

How could Tony be so stupid as to listen to Dunn? And how could he help put himself in that position over my job? And what about the guard? He should have payed more attention. And what _idiot_ missed that knife? If they had searched him properly Tony and the guard's mistakes wouldn't have mattered. I was going to find out who had searched him though.

And they were going to pay.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I'm not too happy with the scene with Tony and Dunn, but I was short on ideas and that one seemed to work the best. Ah, well. You can always tell me in a review! :D**

**Just hit that big, rectangular green button right down there. Lol!**


	9. Love

**I am soooooo sorry that this took so long. I never intended for it to be so long, but I got impossibly stuck on this. But its here now, so you forgive me right? :)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to CBS. **

* * *

I was ticked. Scratch that, I was beyond ticked. I was enraged.

I glared as one of the team's new probie's scattered away as I walked by. But then even the hardest, well seasoned agents were jumping out of my path.  
They all recognized I was on a mission as I stormed off to the director's office and they knew that if any of them dared to get near me right now, they'd be in the line of fire.

After finishing with the tape I had headed down to the parking garage to see who had signed in for afternoon gaurd duty.

I think I might have given the guard at the gate near heart failure when I first stormed in and demaned to see the sing-in sheet, but he had handed it over anyway.

After a quick scan of the pages I found the culprits name. But I was angery (more so, at least) to see he had already signed out just a short time ago.

Something hadn't felt right though, my gut told me something was wrong.

I ended up bullying it out of the guard. If I didn't give him a heartat-tack before, I certainly did then.

Four minutes and he cracked, confessing the guard, a good buddy of his, had cut out early to meet up with his girlfriend.

Doing the calculation in my head of time, I figured he must have left just a few minutes after Dunn had been brought in. So either he didn't check Dunn at all, or he had done it quickly to get it done and missed the knife.  
Either way, he was a dead man walking.

I threw the door open to Leon's office, causing it to bang into the wall.

"Come in, Agent Gibbs." Leon commented dryly as I stopped in front of the desk.

I waited for the door to shut behind me before saying anything.

"Haywood was the one who was supposed to inspect Dunn! He skipped out because he had a hot date! And because of that Agent DiNozzo was nearly killed!" I yelled.

"Do you have proof, Gibbs?" Vance asked, leaning back in his chair.

"No, Leon, I just picked his name off the roster and decided to run with it!" I snapped sarcastically, angrily.

Leon raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't comment.

"You want proof?" I asked, "Go talk to his buddy down at gate. He's already admitted to me."

"Alright. I'll have Haywood escorted to my office as soon as he turns up for duty tomorrow." He reasoned.

"I want to deal with him, Leon!" I snapped.

"I can't do that, Agent Gibbs." he replied curtly, folding his hands neatly on the desk.

"Why not?" I ground out through my clenched teeth.

"Because I honestly don't think it would be a good idea if one of our top agent's was arrested for murder." He answered, staring at me.

I glared, but didn't say anything in reply.

"It will taken care of, Gibbs. What Haywood did was inexcusable. He'll be lucky to get a job as a civilian crossing gaurd from now on. But I will be the one to handle it, not you." He said firmly, pulling out a toothpick and sticking it in mouth.

I only stood glaring at him for a few moments before storming out of the room, making sure to slam the door behind me.

Just because Vance said I couldn't deal with him, didn't mean I had to listen.

* * *

Instead of heading straight for the bull-pen, I turned instead for the elevator intending to take it straight to the exit. I needed a few minutes before going back to the squadroom. I was too angry. I needed to take some time to cool off and calm down my nerves. The short walk to the coffee shop and back should be enough.

And it was. As I headed back towards the cluster of desks twenty minutes later, coffee in hand, I was much calmer.

"So were things terribly bored around here without me?" I heard Tony's voice drift around the corner.

Walking into the squadroom I was slightly surprised Tony had braved sitting on the edge of Ziva's desk after the tongue lashing she had been prepared to give earlier.

"Well, it was surprisingly quiet around here for a change." Ziva replied with a smirk and it appeared that her anger had ebbed away.

The corner of my mouth twitched as I sat down at my desk, trying to remember what I had been working on before everything had gone to heck in a hand-basket.

"Awww, see you did miss me." Tony commented, grinning widely.

"Something like that." Ziva replied with a smile.

I heard Tony give a single laugh and I waited for the smart, cocky comment that he was sure to fire back at her.

But it never came.  
I looked up and noticed McGee and Ziva were watching him too. Tony, however, was starring at something on Ziva's desk.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Where did you get that?" Tony asked, ignoring his question, his eyes still glued to whatever object caught his interest.

"Where did I get what?" she asked, confused.

"That picture." he said.

Suddenly it clicked. He had seen the picture I had given Ziva from his desk. In the excitement yesterday we had forgotten about them. I mentally headslapped myself for it.

"Gibbs gave it to me. He gave them to Abby, McGee, Jimmy, and Ducky as well." Ziva explained.

She was going to get worse then a headslap later I thought as Tony's eyes instantly flicked over to me.

I pretended to be absorbed in what I was typing on the computer and simply acted as if I didn't notice.

Tony continued to stare for a few moments before apparently deciding that now wasn't the time to discuss it, and turned away.

As he went back to teasing Ziva, who was still looked slightly confused over his reaction, I gave a inward sigh of relief. I really didn't need to deal with that right now.

As the conversation between Tony and Ziva, and soon Tim as well, continued, I had a hard time repressing my smile. It was all so familiar. So normal. So _real._ This is what I missed. What I had needed. What we had all needed. The little wise cracks that broke the silence and took our minds off the boring paperwork. The conversation, that really lead no where, but were comforting none-the-less. The teasing, the jokes, the conversation.

Without Tony, it had been so empty. So quiet and still. But now with Tony's familiar presence in the room, things were back to normal. Things were right.

I was slightly surprised at how fast the time seemed to fly now. Before the time had dragged on, unrelenting. But now, the day seemed to speed by. By six we'd finished, stamped, dated, and filed our reports and were ready to head home.

After Ziva had given Tony a kiss on the cheek, McGee had patted his shoulder, and we had all wished each other a good night, we were ready to head home.

Tony didn't even bother questioning where he was spending the night. He was learning.

As we entered the elevator, I felt Tony tense beside me and I knew what was coming. I should have known better than to consider that he might let the situation with the photos drop.

I didn't say anything as I stared straight ahead, waiting for him to break the silence first.

"Why?" he asked after just a few moments. He stood starring straight ahead the elevator's doors like I was.

"Why what?" I asked, not moving my eyes.

"Why the photos?"

I didn't answer for a moment, but instead stayed quiet.

"Why'd you have them?" I asked finally.

Tony stayed silent.

Noticing that the elevator was nearing it's floor, I hit the stop button.

He didn't even flinch when it halted to a stop or the lights darkened.

"You're avoiding my question." he said after another moment's silence.

"And you're avoiding mine." I pointed out.

Tony simply stared at me, his eyes calculating and testing. Wanting an answer, but not willing to give me one.

And then I remembered what I had previously been chastening myself for. Not letting him know how much cared. How I was proud of him. That he was like my son.

"Because..." I paused, swallowing past the lump forming in my throat, "Because, DiNozzo...We missed you. All of , Ducky, Palmer, McGee, Ziva...me."

Tony stared back, eyes wide. He opened his mouth for a moment before snapping it shut again.

I watched him a moment. I needed to tell him. I needed to say something. Anything. He needed to know.

"You're important to us, Tony." I all but whispered and I saw his eyes widen again slightly, "We need you and we care about you. All of us...Including me."

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

For a few moments, we simply looked at each other. Tony, apparently trying to find the right words to answer me.

Finally I noticed his lips quirk in some semblance of a smile.

"Love you too, Boss." he replied, his voice tight withe emotion.

My face split in to a wide smile.

"You better, DiNozzo." I added as I reached up rub the back of his head fondly.

Tony simply grinned.

Smiling still, I reached over and flipped the switch back on again. The rest of the journey to the car park was in a comfortable silence.

But as always with DiNozzo, the silence didn't last. And once again, I couldn't help but be grateful for that.

As we got in the car and Tony started to prattle on about one of movies, I let a smile drift across my face. Every thing was finally as it should be.

I had Tony back.

* * *

**Okay, folks, that's it! I finally finished my first multi-chapter fic, Yay! :D I'm so happy right now! lol!**

**I know allot of you wanted to see Gibbs beat the crap out of Haywood for letting Tony get hurt and, personally, I wanted to see that too, but I simply couldn't make it work. The scene wouldn't come out right for one, and two, even though it is Gibbs we're talking about, I don't see him being able to beat the crap out of a (former) guard and not get in trouble at all and I really didn't want to get into all that. The main focus of the story was Gibbs' thoughts and feelings towards Tony and their relationship and I didn't want to get too carried away. Hope you guys understand. :)**

**Anyway, so I've finally finished, cause for celebration, yes? Well what better way to celebrate than reviews, hmm? :D lol!**


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